© 1999 VNN
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WORLD May 20, 1999 VNN3915 Comment on this story The Devotee's Prayer BY JAGADANANDA DAS USA, May 20 (VNN) — (From the forthcoming book, Art of Sadhana) by Srila Bhakti Promode Puri Maharaj We should all pray as follows: "I am most fallen and useless, O Lord. May my spiritual master be pleased with me. May he give me the spiritual strength to follow his directions. May all the obstacles to my worshiping the Lord be removed so that at the end of my sojourn in this world, I may sit alone far from the hustle and bustle of the material world and, with a steady mind, chant the Holy Names with emotion. May the Lord be merciful and allow me to give up my last breath in this way. With or without my knowledge, I have committed so many offenses to his lotus feet, and even now I continue to commit such offenses. O Lord, please forgive all such offenses and give me a place at your lotus feet. Make my life complete by allowing me to associate with those who are dear to you. "For so long I have simply made a pretense of having been initiated. In fact, I have not done that which a surrendered sould should do: I have not followed my spiritual master's instructions to the letter. I have thus been unable to advance even a little in spiritual life. All the contaminations which were in my heart before taking initiation are still there today, so how is there any hope of my attaining the divine realization which is said to be the real sign of initiation? My heart is like a lump of iron, without any feeling. Even though I chant the Holy Names, my heart does not melt. I am thus thinking, aparadha phale mama citta bhela vajra-sama tuwa name na labhe vikara 'Due to having committed offenses, my heart has become as hard as a thunderbolt. So no ecstatic transformations take place when I chant your name.' (Bhaktivinoda Thakur) tabe jani tahe aparadha achaye pracura krsna-nama bija tahe na haya ankura I thus know that I have committed so many offenses to the Holy Name; for though I have planted the seed of the Name, no creeper of love has sprouted. (CC 1.8.29) "O gurudeva! Here in the evening of my life, I have become so forlorn and hopeless. O Lord! you who see no fault in anyone! Be straightforward with me and give me your mercy. Help me to become free of all offenses so that I can develop a taste for the Holy Names which you have instructed me to chant. Allow me to earn the right to be called the genuine servant of your servants. With your divine vision, you see me perfectly, both externally and internally. You know everything that I do. Therefore I pray that everything I do, my behavior, my devotional service, will be a source of pleasure for you. O Lord, forgive all my offenses, whether I have committed them willingly or unwillingly. Give me a place forever amongst all the servants at your lotus feet where there is no more lamentation, no more fear, no more death. Your feet are the only shelter for someone like me who has found no refuge anywhere in this world. Your feet are the only source of ultimate good for someone like me who has found no value anywhere else in this world." bhumau skhalita-padanam bhumir evavalambanam tvayi jataparadhanam tvam eva saranam prabho "Those who trip and fall have only the ground as an aid to help them get up again. O Lord, those who commit offenses to you have no one but you for refuge." Jagadananda Das Comment on this story | Contact VNN about this story | Send this story to a friend
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