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11/18/97

First I want to say that I very much appreciate your WEB page - the whole concept seems very well done, very open, very decent (I am 100% totally turned off by PADA's degraded attitude - although we are all concerned about the message), very much a credit to the Vaishnav community. I just found the site today.... Thank you.

But, what I am really writing about is the Poison issue. This issue, if some truth is there, completely dwarfs the whole Ritvik issue - even though the 2 may be linked.

Of course, it is an idea I heard discussed just weeks after Prabhupad's physical departure. There was concern that unknowingly devotees may have been giving him the wrong medications (given by an unqualified Kaviraj) that may have at least contributed to his deteriating health. And, although some idea was floating around there may have been some malicious intentional poisoning, it just wasnt' concievable to many to even consider it. I have no direct personal information to give, only comments and opinions.

I have no reason to doubt the tape is geuine, but equally I also have no idea if it is. Another aspect that devotees might also keep an open mind to in their investigation is to see if this whisper may have been 'added' to the tape. Why? Well, there are some who so fanatically believe that there was a conspiracy by one or more or all of the 11 to take over as the new gurus that they may have made a tampered copy and added the whisper on the tape just to lend credence to their conspiracy theory.

I am not saying I believe that, but it is another option to investigate and check out. It 'could' be plausable.

When I listened to the sample you have posted I heard, "I am poisoning the milk", but there is some distortion. My question is what is that loud distorted beep sound as the tape cuts off while Jayapataka speaks and just before the whisper comes on. It does not sound like a start / stop tape deck sound. Also, why would the tape start just as the person starts to whisper? Anyway, I would need to hear both the BBT version and this one to see what are the differences.

I also think, in reference to the Lab report on the Appointment tapes, that it has to be stressed that their preliminary conclusion cannot possibly be given that much credit. What I mean is that unless they were given a number of tapes that were recorded on the same deck at around the same time using the same brand of tape I don't see how they could reach the conclusions they have. They must realize the deck used was most often battery powered and that the tapes may charactoristically display some of the anomolies that he found just in the normal operation of the tapes. I have listened to a number of Prabhupad lecture tapes recorded on the Urih (sp?) tape deck used for Prabhupad and many times heard tape deck related sounds. Especially if the deck was being hand held or carried on the shoulder strap as it often was while recording his walks. And, as the battery power decreased the motor is more suseptable to speed flucuations which was one thing they were looking for on the tapes. Obviously they should examine a number of other known to be 'unedited' tapes to see if the same type of slurring can be found or not.

However, whether Prabhupad was poisoned or not, I have full faith that he did not leave this world because of poison. Krsna protects his pure devotees, like Prahlad Maharaj, whose father tried to poison him, but the poisons didn't work.

My absolute faith, no matter what the outcome of all this, no matter whether someone thought they were poisoning him or not, is that being such a pure devotee, that Srila Prabhupad's departure was not a result of any of those external things. Not the poison or wrong medicines or even wrong diets - etc., it was directly under the full control of Ishvara-Parama Krishna and His pure devotees, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta and our Srila Prabhupad. When Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati wanted his disciple to come home, that is when Srila Prabhupad physically left this material world, and no amount of medicine or poison could have changed that one way or the other. Period. I think all of us have to keep these truths in the forefront of our hearts as we continue to search out what materially transpired.

And if we are going to consider the material circumstances then we have to also keep in mind that Srila Prabhupad was 80 and he had a kidney failure. That is a view given by ayurvedic doctors and doctors in London who saw him, we are speaking of between March to May of 77.

I do have some very personal experience with the symptoms of Kidny failure. When I was about 15 or os my father had a similar problem. His tube also plugged up, just like Prabhupad's did. His urine became blocked which caused large bags of poisonous urine to build up in the kidneys which then leaked out into his blood stream. When the kidneys are blocked my father's feet, legs and arms puffed up like large balloons. And with the toxic and days old urine leaking into his blood stream my father had become gravely ill, he could barely sit up or get out of bed, walking was very painful. All this happened when my father was in his 50's. Srila Prabhupad was over 80 years old when he suffered a similar problem.

My father was one who hated doctors and he put off going to a doctor, even with his arms, legs and feet so swollen. Not until he blacked out and fell down in our living room unconscious did he agree to allow us to take him to see, first, our family doctor. As soon as the doctor saw him he called for the ambulance and told us latter my father was only hours from death. First they cut the blocked tube and replace it with a plastic one. But, one of his Kidneys had totally failed and so a few weeks later they had to remove it also. My father was in his mid 50's then and he recovered from all of that. But, Srila Prabhupad's body was much older.

But, I know the symptoms of kidney failure and this is what Prabhupad suffered from, which I seriously doubt was brought on by heavy metal poisoning.

We have to keep in mind that between his age of 70 to over 80 Srila Prabhupad traveled and kept up a vigorous schedule that literally fried out one young healthy male disciple after another. Not one of his young men were able to keep their health and follow his schedule for too long at a time. For any of us who travel from the US to Europe, to India and abroad, that traveling takes a lot out of you. Imagine, for years Srila Prabhupad did not spend much more then a month or two at any one temple, and often no more then a few days. Constantly traveling. This was devistating to his already admited old and fraile body that he had. It is no surprise that something would give up, that something, like a tube from the kidneys may plug up, somehting was likely to give up. Like any machine, you run it at too high a speed, espeically an older machine, and something is bound to wear out.

At least in March I cannot accpt that his failed Kidney was the result of being poisoned. I can only accept that it was due to over exersion and his older age. Naturally, every body born in the material world must experience disease and the symptoms of old age and eventually death. Even the body of a pure devotee must adhere to these laws of material nature. Srila Prabhupad was in an old body that he said was fraile the whole time he was with us. Yet he pushed it to perform work that even his young male disciples could not possibly keep up with. As all of us in the material world, death was certain to come even for the body of such a pure devotee. When and how, we never know. But, it is no surprise (I am simply speaking from a technical basis, not a sentimental one) that Prabhupad naturally experienced massive kidney and organ failures.

And I believe Abiram when he says that Prabhupad was not poisoned during his tenure up to mid Oct., 77.

But, the tape really does sound like someone says, "I'm poisoning the milk". So, if Prabhupad was not poisoned up to Oct, and at that time his health was completely gone, so much so that Prabhupad himself ordered the salt to be brought in preparation for his death, then why would anyone conspire to poison him at such a time as this tape was made, I think in November? It leave us with the question, WHY poison an already dying man?

It makes no sense. Only two plausible reasons can come to my mind, but I cannot accept either. One would be that somehow some disciple may not have bared seeing Srila Prabhupad in his current weakened condition and simply wanted to 'help' him end his suffering and return to Krishna a little sooner. I personally could not see how a disciple could do this to his own guru, but on the other hand I can. My own father, many years after his kidney problems, began to suffer a series of heart strokes. As each one passed he was left in more and more of a disabilitating situation. It got to the point that for months he was lying on his death bed, unable to speak, but, he was fully conscious and fully aware of everything and everyone. I would come every so often to the house and read Gita to him as he lay there. One night I started to read and could not continue, so I asked my wife to read for me. After a few minutes I stopped her and went to my father and told him that it wsa time now for him to leave. I told him that he had nothing to fear of death for the soul, his real self, was eternal. I took the picture of the Detroit Deities of Radha-Kunjabihari that was sitting at his bed side and I explained that here, Krishna, was his real spiritual father, he is the Supreme God. I told my father all he had to do was let go of trying to hang on to his old and useless body and that Krishna will take him and take all good care of him personally. While I was saying all this my mother and visiting aunt walked in the room. I wasn't sure how they were going to take this. Here I was, telling my father to let go, that it was his time to leave. After I was done my mother cried and thanked me for saying what she had been wanting to say for a long time, but didn't know how. I left. About 4 hours latter, in the night, my mother called, just after I left my father feel asleep, she just now heard him choking and walked in to see him pass away. He was intensily looking at the picture of Radha-Kunjabihari. So, on one hand I can sort of understand how someone may have wanted to ease Prabhupad's suffering condition. But with poison? That I cannot understand. Poison is not meant for easing suffering.

The only other thing I can think of is that which we all fear. Someone may have actually wanted to see Prabhupad removed, out of the way, so that they could take his place. But why if Srila Prabhupad was already so close to death? Why poison a dying man? However, none of us really could come to terms with that thought at the time. No matter how gravely ill he was, it was always our blind hope that he would recover and sit smilingly on his Vyasasan again preaching vigorously. Could it be that someone was so vile that they just wanted some position so badly that they decided they just couldn't wait any longer? That they just didn't want to risk the chance that maybe he would recover, or go on and on like this for years so they had to take this measure to make sure he didn't?

However, there is something I feel that we all must keep in mind, for all the conspiracy ideas and flying fits of sentimentally charged emotions over all this, I remain to this day set in my firm belief that ALL of us loved Srila Prabhupad as much as our hearts could. Even the 11 first acharyas, even fallen gurus, even the headless dead one. We all loved him very much, at least all of us did at some point. All of us. From Ramesvar - who I know personally was a sold out book distributor, that is all he ever ate, drank, slept or dreamed about for year after year. Yes, he had all sorts of quirks, yes, I was a personal victim of some of his disgraceful and wrong dealings with others, but there was gold in his heart for Srila Prabhupad. And that love is what Srila Prabhupad saw, and that is why he gave these men some position. That goes for all the Hrdayanandas and Tamal Krishnas and Jayatirthas and Bhavanandas and Bhagavans and Hamsaduttas and Kritanandas and all... Yes they had their dark sides at times, and they had their personal problems, but so have most of us - in one way or the other. But, we should not forget, and should keep it in our minds, that each one of them did have deep affection and love for Srila Prabhupad. But, they also had big positions and with those positions often came bigger passions and bigger aspirations that often amplified their dark sides as well and often eclipsed the levels of proper behavior. We have the skeltons of dead devotees to make this point. But, I know that these devotees did have true love and affection for Srila Prabhupad, could one or several of them also have given in to such sinister and malicious mind-set as to actually want to increase Prabhupad's physical suffering by the way of poisoning him?

Maybe, yes, but I think we have to be extremely careful in preceeding with this whole thing and not end up being swept away by mob-fever and jump to uncertain and unverified conclusions. Let us proceed extremely cautiously and take however much time is needed for a very sober and level headed investigation to procced. And keep our minds open to all the possibilities, including the idea that may the whispers were added on the tape latter...

Your Servant, Ameyatma das, kgrafx@earthlink.net

my home page: http://home.earthlink.net/~kgrafx