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from\u00a0\u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da-l\u012bl\u0101m\u1e5bta – Volume Two<\/p>\nfrom\u00a0\u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da-l\u012bl\u0101m\u1e5bta – Volume Two<\/p>\n
Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a mentioned that Prabhup\u0101da would sometimes become upset if he was not informed about ISKCON management, but Prabhup\u0101da said better not to inform him. \u201cNow take it that I am dead,\u201d he said. Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a took this remark to mean that the leaders of ISKCON should manage all problems just as if Prabhup\u0101da were no longer present. They should relieve him so he would be free to think of K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a and Balar\u0101ma. And Prabhup\u0101da confirmed that this was the right idea. \u201cGive me that chance,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
After one day in V\u1e5bnd\u0101vana, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da wrote,<\/p>\n
I was staying in Hrsikesha hoping to improve my health, but instead I have become a little weaker. Now I have come back to my home, Vrindavan. If anything should go wrong, at least I will be here in Vrindavan.<\/p>\n
\u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da called for Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a Goswami. \u201cThere are two things,\u201d he said, \u201c \u2013 trying to survive and to prepare for death. It is better to plan for the worst. Arrange to always have three or four men with me. Have k\u012brtana and read Bh\u0101gavatam all the time. Now I am trying to take little food. Par\u012bk\u1e63it Mah\u0101r\u0101ja would not even take water.\u201d<\/p>\n
Seeing \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da\u2019s mood, Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a mentioned the need for a will, and Prabhup\u0101da agreed. A will, he said, was simple enough. Whatever he spoke, several men could sign as witnesses. He recalled how his spiritual master, just before a hernia operation, had made a very simple will on a scrap of paper. Although he never underwent that operation, years later the same will was presented in court and was accepted as evidence against the plots of some of the disciples.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was the original founder,\u201d said Prabhup\u0101da, \u201cso whatever he wills, that is accepted.\u201d When Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a asked why Prabhup\u0101da\u2019s Guru Mah\u0101r\u0101ja had not undergone the operation, Prabhup\u0101da replied, \u201cEveryone has their sentiment. He thought that the doctor was paid to kill him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d said Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a, \u201cbecause sometimes people were actually paid off to kill him. Actually, \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da, you and your Guru Mah\u0101r\u0101ja were the greatest enemies of modern civilization in this century.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da explained, \u201cThis is Caitanya Mah\u0101prabhu\u2019s mission. Bh\u0101rata-bh\u016bmite haila \u2026 . This is India\u2019s culture. The whole world is in darkness, and they are risking their life in the transmigration of one body to another. He does not know that he is eternal and that in a few years this fragment is passing away, this life is just a passing flash. This is the Vai\u1e63\u1e47ava\u2019s concern. What these rascals are doing? They are jumping like monkeys, wasting time. That is the Vai\u1e63\u1e47ava\u2019s compassion, para-du\u1e25kha-du\u1e25kh\u012b.\u201d<\/p>\n
When some other devotees gathered in \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da\u2019s room, Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a explained Prabhup\u0101da\u2019s recent decision. \u201cSo \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da has decided that the best medicine would be \u015ar\u012bmad-Bh\u0101gavatam and k\u012brtana, and no need of any doctors who have promised to help save the life. We shouldn\u2019t bring them. And no outsiders.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo medicine for the body?\u201d asked a devotee.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, whatever medicine I am taking,\u201d said \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da, \u201cYogendra Ras.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe has tried so many medicines,\u201d Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a said. \u201cEvery doctor has come, and they have each given their medicine. And he has tried them. This medicine always works: \u015ar\u012bmad-Bh\u0101gavatam and k\u012brtana.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBhavau\u1e63adh\u0101c chrotra-mano-\u2019bhir\u0101m\u0101t,\u201d quoted \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da. (He had been quoting it again and again.) \u201cIt pleases the ear and the mind, bhavau\u1e63adh\u0101c chrotra-mano-\u2019bhir\u0101m\u0101t, ka uttama-\u015bloka-gu\u1e47\u0101nuv\u0101d\u0101t. Make glorification of Bhagav\u0101n, and everyone will appreciate it \u2013 except the animal.\u201d<\/p>\n
At \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da\u2019s request, k\u012brtanas by a group of no more than four or five devotees and Bh\u0101gavatam readings went on constantly, whether he was in his room, on the veranda, or on the roof. In the morning from five to ten and in the evenings from three to nine he would sit with his eyes closed, absorbed in the k\u012brtana, \u201cthe medicine for the disease of material existence, which gives pleasure to the mind and ear.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a promised to Prabhup\u0101da he would read him no letters and bring him no visitors. Prabhup\u0101da had long wanted this, and now it at least would come to pass.<\/p>\n
The writing of the will would not be done with the attitude that the end had come, but in the spirit of \u201cpreparing for the worst.\u201d It also meant finishing things so they would not have to be done at the last minute. Prabhup\u0101da was concerned that his movement continue securely, with all ISKCON properties in the possession of his disciples within the institution and all his instructions made clear for the future. These matters should be dispatched now in a will, and the G.B.C. men should gather in V\u1e5bnd\u0101vana to make these last arrangements and to be with him. Once these things were settled, Prabhup\u0101da would be free to continue writing his books with no worries.<\/p>\n
Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a later asked \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da whether his new decisions indicated that he was losing his desire to fight to live. \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da indirectly admitted it was so. \u201cTherefore,\u201d he said, \u201cI do not wish to leave V\u1e5bnd\u0101vana. If, by K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a\u2019s desire, I survive, then we shall see later on. Otherwise \u2026 .\u2009\u201d<\/p>\n
Even though his secretary did not read him letters or bring him news, Prabhup\u0101da went on thinking. \u201cWhat about the R\u0101dh\u0101-D\u0101modara temple?\u201d he asked. He had been renting his rooms there for years, and the temple proprietors had often challenged his rights. This was just another of his multifarious worries in maintaining his preaching around the world. Prabhup\u0101da advised that his disciples always live in the R\u0101dh\u0101-D\u0101modara rooms; that would prevent the landlord from trying to use them for something else. Even while lying quietly, resting, Prabhup\u0101da would turn over such problems in his mind.<\/p>\n
Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a wanted to double check to see that Prabhup\u0101da actually wanted all the G.B.C. men from all over the world to come. It would be costly and demanding, so he wanted to be sure that Prabhup\u0101da really wanted it. When \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da assured him that he did, Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a, who saw his service as responding to whatever \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da desired, also spoke in favor of the idea.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause they love you,\u201d said Tam\u0101la K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a, \u201cI am sure they will all want to come and be with you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour love for me,\u201d said \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da, \u201cwill be shown by how much you cooperate to keep this institution together after I am gone.\u201d<\/p>\n
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