VNN Editorial - "We Are, Therefore, In Favor Of Polygamy"

EDITORIAL

February 22, 1999 VNN3129

"We Are, Therefore, In Favor Of Polygamy"

BY AMEYATMA DAS

EDITORIAL, Feb 22 (VNN) — His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami PrabhupŠda (From Purport CC €di Lila 14.58)

Since this is part of the overal topic of the dharma of marriage that I have studied for many years, I must respond in strong objection to mother Prtha's recent editorial on polygamy (VNN3088), in which she made many false and misleading statements in the name of Srila Prabhupad.

This is a topic that is much misunderstood in our movement. Of course, the Krsna Consciousness movement is meant to reduce sex life to nil, therefore, why should any of us be concerned with trying to defend such a topic? Because the topic itself is very much misunderstood. Polygamy, if properly introduced and practiced, will actually STOP illicit sex in human society. It will dramatically reduce divorce, in fact, it is one of the most important solutions to the problem of illicit sex and divorce. What do I base these radical ideas on? The teachings and words of the Founder Acharya of ISKCON.

Mother Prtha says, "Years ago in this movement it was common knowledge that Prabhupada had discontinued polygamy."

It is a common misunderstanding. And, yes, at one time he did instruct us to not do this. But, one major defect of mother Prtha's article is that this was by no means Srila Prabhupad's last instructions on the mater. His later and very last instructions on the topic were not opposed. Rather, it was he who many times, after Feb of 73, time after time continually promoted it.

What is key to all of this at least for full time members of ISKCON and initiated followers of HDG AC BSP is what exactly did he teach on this topic? Mother Prita quoted only from 3 letters written all within days of one another and she has falsely or at least wrongly claimed that these were his last and final instructions on the matter. That is completely misleading misinformation for which she is doing Srila Prabhupad and Krsna a great disservice for promiting such blatantly false ideas.

Just prior to those 3 letters that mother Prtha quoted, in January of 73, he wrote Karandhar a letter very favorable response asking to officilally establish polygamy as part of our society. Regarding the protection and marriage of the unwed girls in the Krishna Consciousness movement Srila Prabhupad described polygamy as the 'best idea'. It is obvious from reading the letter that Karandhar had asked SP what our official position was. And this is more obvious when you realize that in lectures and on morning walks in LA just a few months earlier SP spoke very favorably with Karandhar about the idea of polygamy. In SB class in Aug of 72 SP said that he had asked Karandhar, why in America is polygamy illegal? He rebuked the law makers calling them demons for passing such laws. Srila Prabhupad's point was that polygamy is meant for the protection of the women. So, in December of 72 Karandhar wrote and asked SP what his official position was on the topic? Srila Prabhupad wrote back on Jan 10th of 73 stating that so many of the marriages he has arranged had ended in divorce. Most devotees use this as proof polygamy should not be allowed. They will argue that it is crazy to introduce polygamy into our society when so many of the monogamous marriages have failed. They will argue that first we fix the problem, then we can talk about polygamy. But, Srila Prabhupad used just the opposite argument. He said because so many marriages failed this was proof that not all the men were qualified to make good husbands. Therefore, he argued that the best solution to the problem of so many failed marriages was to introduce polygamy. He advised Karandhar to arrange that the more qualified men should marry as many wives as they could support nicely. This he described as being the best system.

It has to be researched and understood very carefully and sorberly, why was it that if Srila Prabhupad was asked about this topic and this was his own personal reply, then why was it that exactly one month later, on Feb 10, 73, he again wrote Karandhar as well as Rupa Nuga and Satsvarup, the only three references that mother Prtha quoted in her very biased article, that it was to be 'strictly prohibited', at present, in our society?

Was this his actual personal position on the matter? Why would he have turned around 180 degrees so quickly? You have to balance this by the fact that within months of this letter, in May of 73, he again spoke favorably on the topic in a SB class. Then some months latter a devotee writes and asked to take another wife and SP told him that 'under these circumstance' it was a 'stupid' idea. (that point, under "these" circumstances is important, and I will explain shortly what SP was refering to). But, then in 1975 in a conversation Srila Prabhupad spoke about polygamy favorable and a devotee asks if 'our' men 'should' take more than one wife. Srila Prabhupad replied, "I have no objection". Yet, still, around the same time he told another devotee that his attempt to take second wife is lust only. And, yet again later, in 1977, he advises the GBC men over a real live situation to let some devotees take up to 20 wives each, stating that "We have no objection" if our men take additional wives, saying this he has already instructed.

When I started my indepth research on this topic 8 years ago I was also puzzled at first. Why all the contradictions? Why write it is best idea, advising it to be officially instituded, then ony one month later write it is to be strictly prohibited? Why tell one devotee the idea is stupid and ask him not to do this, then tells another he has no objection, even arguing in favor of it and defeating arguments against it? Why such contradictions?

After a sober and careful study the whole mater became clear. Srila Prabhupad never contradicted his own personal opinion. His own personal opinion on the matter never changed. Personally he always considered it as the best idea. And as long as it was to be done "porperly", then he not only had no objection, he asked for it to be practiced. However, if it was done or wanted to be done for the wrong reason, then he was very much, and rightully so, opposed.

Jan. 10, 73 he wrote Karandhar asking it to be introduced 'cautiously'. He mentioned to be careful because you will be breaking the laws. So, he obviously knew it was illegal, but he was asking that we bend the non-dharmic (non religious) laws. Why? Why would a sannyasi, a great spiritual teacher, why would he be ask for such a thing as polygamy to be introduced, even at the risk of breaking the non-religious laws? To protect the women in his movement. It is the Vedic system for giving women the best protection. The point was not to facilitate more sex for men, but to give best protection to the women. If a man is strict in his vows, he does not increase any illicit sex even with 10 or 20 wives. But, if a man is not serious or sober, he can use contraceptives and engage in all sorts of illicit sinful sex with even one wife, or no wives.

Polgyamy is not for the unrestricted, loose uncontrolled men, it is to give a woman who deserves a good husband a man who has proven himself with his first wife to be sober and controlled and a caring and proper husband who does not beat or abuse his wife, but who is a gentleman who takes first class care of his wife and sees that her life is made comfortable and happy. To such a first class man, you then give him 2 to 20 wives, as many as he can maintain. Then all those women will be taken best care of. And the other men, it will benefit the society, and especially the women, if the other men, the less responsible men, the men who are crazy and will abuse women, if such men do not marry at all. Thus, polygamy is for the benefit of the women and the society in general.

Those men who will not divorce their wives or abandon their children. It is those men who, if they take additional wives, are doing society a great boon.

You take 20 women, say they each will have 3 children. If you force society to practice monogamy, then by today's standards 1/2 of them will wind up in broken marriages. That means that 10 women and their 30 children will suffer broken homes, step parents, split multi-tiered 'families'. The children will suffer the most. When the children suffer, the whole society suffers. But, you allow polygamy and instead take those 10 women who would have married loosers for husbands and marry them all to a first class man who has proven himself with his first wife. Who is responsible, serious, loving and caring. Then not only will the lives of those 10 women be so much better off, but the 30 children they will mother will also have a homogenious and loving unbroken family which will give them the proper social nourishment in childhood so they can grow to become solid productive members of society. These are the logic reasons for promoting and allowing polygamy.

But, when Karandhar got this letter he showed it and mailed it to a number of other GBC men. Some were shocked. They met among themselves and then petitioned Srila Prabhupad to not allow it. They argued many things, one was that in their opinion our men were not mature enough. Yes, SP did consider that if the more advanced me in his society totally misunderstood the purpose and usefulness of this issue, then he rescinded his order and asked it not to be allowed. The other was the legal ramifications. Not so much for the individuals, that you can get around, but for ISKCON as a legal entity. The government could revoke our status as a religious organization if we officially promoted these religious views which they have wrongly outlawed. And besides that, Srila Prabhupad's own legal position may have been in jeapordy if he were to have officially promoted polygamy. He may have been deported for such a stand. So, for these legal reasons he then wrote the letters in Feb of 73 that officially contradicted his first letter and stated that polygamy was to be strictly prohibited. It was for those reasons, not for the reason mother Prtha puts forth, that he 'experimented' with polygamy and then saw how it failed and so then abolished it. There is no support for her logic. In all fairness this was NOT SP's personal position on the matter, it was a position he took for the other reasons stated above. And, even if he did rescind the order because he could see his men had not properly understood it and acted immaturely about it, it is well documented that he continued to preach in favor of it and continued to explain why it was needed in society so that at some later point it can be properly introduced.

It was just a few months later in May of 73 that he again spoke favorably on the subject. And, 2 years latter, in 1975, he no longer was officially opposed at all. In a taped conversation with Satsvarup and Brahmananda and others Srila Prabhupad strongly argued in favor of allowing polygamy in ISKCON, or at least on the 'farm' communities.

In 74-75 there were several letters where devotees had asked him for permission to take additional wife and he blasted them away for it. Why? Well, for one he was still supporting the views of the GBC who had asked SP not to support this issue. But, I studied those letters carefully and I found something else that very revealing.

In all these letters Srila Prabhupad is not condemning polygamy, but he is opposed to it being approached for improper reasons. All of those devotees who had asked to take another wife were devotees who were living in the temples and ashrams like grhasta-brahmacaris. They were devotees who were being maintained by the temples in exchange for their services. Although for years in ISKCON we thought such a thing was somehow good and proper, it is actually a very strange position. Grahastas are the only ashram in society whose duty it is to work and financially support all other ashrams. The work of the married men not only supports them and their families, but their taxes support the government and their contributions and charity support the temples, schools, brahman teachers, sannyasi preachers, and celibant students. The whole rest of society, the other 3 ashrams are supported by only one ashram. A proper grhasta is one who works outside the guru's ashram and supports himself and his family. To remain with wife and living in the guru's ashram and being maintained with wife by the guru and his ashram and temples is a rather odd situation. But, Srila Prabhupad needed his men to assist him, and for that he was willing to maintain even grhastas if they were able to help him in his preaching mission (yet, he was upset if they were paid money, he only wanted grhastas living in the ashrams to be maintained by the temple, not paid salaries). However, he was not so eagar to support such men living in the ashrams with 2 or 3 wives. That is where he drew the line and told devotees he had no objection to them taking additional wives, but, to do so they had to move outside the ashram, get a job and support their family. That is only being reasonable.

Polygamy means to protect, to take care of and maintain the wife. He told one social worker that polygamy was not illicit. But, Srila Prabhupad explained, only if the man is able to maintain his wives. Otherwise, if he cannot maintain another wife, then to want another wife is not actually for protection. Then all he wants is to have sex only. That is irresponsible and thus illicit sex. Even if a man cannot maintain one wife, but has sex with her and gets her pregnant, this is not good. Who will maintain the woman and child? Then it is irresponsible sex, and that is illicit. But, if the man can properly maintain additional wife, then it is not illicit, then it is proper religious marriage, protection, of the women.

So, in every case where SP flately objected and rejected the idea of the devotee taking a second wife, in every case SP would point out that the devotee was not even maintaining his first wife on his own (SP was maintaining them in exchange for their services). So, he would say, in this circumstance for you to dare ask for a second wife, this is stupid. Give it up. But, in almost every instance, Srila Prabhupad would also mentioin that if someone wants to do this the devotee must live outside the temple, get a job and maintained his wives. That was not disallowed. Another devotee, he was TP in Washington DC. He was married, but he engaged in an illicit affair and got a brahmacarini pregnant. His wife found out and so the devotee asked SP if he could take the girl as his second wife SP was heavy with him. Why not? The devotee had been having an illicit affair with a girl under his charge. Srila Prabhupad pointed out that he wasn't even maintaining his first wife, so SP said his taking a second wife was due to lust only. That is proper definition, as I just explained. If the man cannot maintain the second wife, but he is engaging in sex with her, then it is irresponsible illicit sex - only. It is driven by uncontrolled lust only. However, if he can maintain another wife, then it is proper religious marriage and protection. So, SP advised the devotee to live outside and get a job and then live with his 2 wives respectfully. Do not expect ISKCON, your guru, to maintain you while having sex with more then one wife. Work outside and be respectable responsible husband, then marry as many wives as you want. But, don't lask the guru to please maintain you while you have sex with many different women while living in your guru's ashram and being maintained by your guru. What is that? So, when I studied these things soberly and fairly I no longer saw any inconsistencies or contradictions in Srila Prabhupad's position regarding polygamy. He was always in favor of it for the right reasons, and was always opposed to it if it were wanted for the wrong reasons. This he never swayed from. Once you understand the basic principle properly you can clearly see that he was solidly consistent in his position on the matter.

So, this idea that Prtha has written, that at one time he 'experiemented' she said, with allowing it, but then was opposed to it is not at all correct or supportable by a careful and sober study of what actually transpired and/or by his teachings on the matter. . Mataji Prtha writes: "Real polygamy is not possible in this age. To begin with, real polygamy provided separate housing for each wife. This not only kept the women more peaceful, decreasing jealousy, giving her a home of her own - a definite female need, but also kept the husband from considering any type of perversion..."

That is a misconception. What Srila Prabhupad has said at times is that each wife is given an apartment or her own quarters. And even that is not always the case. He has also explained the proper house-hold is one of a compound of separate buildings. In the compound one building is for the women and young children to stay, sleep, gather, etc. One for men and older boys to live in. One is for kitchen, food storage, one for altar/temple, one where husband and wife can meet privately, like that. And in the center of the compound some outdoor cooking area and eating place, garden area. So, in this compound the women would consist of the grandmother, wives, daughters, all women, and the small children. And in the men's room would be the grandfather, husbands (many brothers, all married, can live in one family compound). So, the Vedic grha is actually a grha - ashram. Separate quarters for men, separate for women. Then, all women live together in the same room, regardless how many wives one man has, or how many brothers, sons of one grandfather, sister-in-laws, all the women of the extended family all live together. Kings also had this arrangement with all the wives living in one room or chamber (harem). Of course, Sri Krsna provided not only separate house, but separate self sufficient palaces for each of his 16,108 wives. He is God. But, a simple brahman is also allowed to take additional wife, if he can maintain, at least up to the standard of a simple brahman, even living in a hut, as long as he can maintain his wives to the standard of his ashram, to the standard of a simple brahman's wife, that is also acceptable.

And here is a very important thing to consider about Krsna's ability to have separate palaces for each wife. He is God, and He was also able to maintain a homogenious single family atmosphere in each palace. That is Sri Krsna was able to expand Himself into 16,108 Krsnas so that He was present in each palace all the time. Thus, each palace or home had a homogenious family with the father always there. And that is what is important and required. What is REQUIRED is that regardless of how many wives a man has, he must assure that it becomes only one homogenous family. This is important for all the children to have access to their father's love and guidance full time. It is totally not desired that if the man has 3 or 4 wives that he only spends 1/3rd or 1/4 of his time at each separate 'family'. No, it should be just one large family.

Another important consideration is that even though each of Krsna's wives had her own palace, it is important to note that it was not just her and Krsna liiving in the palace all by themsevles. Each wife lived with hundreds of maid servants. Rukmini did not serve her Lord and Master all by herself in her own palace, but she was always accompanied by her maid servants who also fanned Krsna, and served Him in so many ways. In each palace Krsna was living with his wife along with hundreds of young attractive maid servants.

What is important is that in each palace, it was one large family. So, even Krsna's wives shared their homes with hundreds of other young girls. And each home was a homogenous family with the father always staying there. That is the important thing. So, this idea that a man who takes many wives has to have a separate house for each one and maintain them as separate families, that is not the best thing for the children. It is better that the man be able to have one home with separate quarters for each wife and thus maintain one large homogenous family where all of the co-wives live together. This was the atmosphere in each of Krsna's palaces where each wife lived with Krsna along with hundreds of maid servants. If the wives cannot live together in harmony, and the man tries but they are too stuborn, then only should some duplex apartment be considered. Or two houses side by side, somehow where the father is readily accesable to all his children.

One GBC in the 70's in Fiji was living with his 2 wives in one house. Srila Prabhupad stayed in the house and was served by both wives. He never complained the situation was wrong, rather, Vasudev was GBC and living with his 2 wives in one house.

Mother Prtha wrote: "Admittedly Prabhupada DID have us experiment with polygamy. There is no denying that. However, it was just an experiment."

'Experiement'? What off the wall non-sense is this? Srila Prabhupad did not engage in the ascending approach to knowldge. That is the way of the West. Let me try this, no, that didn't work, let me try that. People who don't know what is what, what is good or bad, or what is right or wrong, those people 'experiement'. Srila Prabhupad was teaching from the descending process. Perfect knowledge comes down from higher source. Srila Prabhupad did not 'experiement' with polygamy. He fully understood that it was the best system for protection of the women. What he did was that he taught us to accept it and practice if, for the "proper" reasons. He never withdrew from that. That was always his position and remained so to his disappearance and in his eternal books and teachings.

Mother Prtha is right when she said that polygamy, "was about protection, not how many women a man can accumulate". Yes, that is right. So, why be opposed to proper protection of the women? What is better, that more women are protected by the fewer good men in polygamous relationship, or more women be married to abusive irresponsible men in serial monogamous relationships one after another?

Mother Prtha is also totally wrong in her claim that the men who are interested in taking additional wives are only interested in mundane adoration and distinction. We must not be so prejudicial. Even if a majority of men were like this, still, we must judge each person for his/her own individual personal merits. Thus, as SP pointed out, not all men are qualified to be good husbands. Statistically polygamy is meant to be practiced only by a few men, the few men who truly make good husbands. Thus, only a few good men will be there in society who are actually qualified to take more than one wife. That is the whole point of allowing it, to allow more women the opportunity to be married to the very few good husband's who will properly protect them. Since those men are few, it is to the benefit of the women and society to allow those few men to protect as many wifes as they can. So, if you say most men are not fit to take even one wife, yes, I and Srila Prabhupad fully agree, and in fact, it is for that very same reason that polygamy must be accepted and allowed. If there were a first class man available for each unwed girl who needs a good husband, then there is no need for polygamy. But, if yoiu agree with me that many men are not so qualified to make good husbands, then polygamy is the only way to provide that all women can get a good husband. But, it is not that all men will now take 2 or 3 wives each. In Islamic countries where polygamy is legal, statistics I have read show that only 7" of the men take additional wives. And these are generally very religious and devout family men who take family life and protection of women and children very seriously.

But, then how to asssure that only the good men take more than one wife? How to prevent the playboys and irresponsible men who only want increased sex with many women, who only want to enjoy women, but have no idea of proper protection, how to assure they do not get more than one? Actually, such men should not be given even one wife. That is the point. So, how to do this? Marriage is for the daughter. Marriage means the father is seeking a qualified man to marry his daughter. Thus, in a proper Vedic system it is up to the father to see if the man is qualified or not. Not just that the man wants to take another wife. Just because the man wants 2 or 3 wives, that does not mean that automatically some one gives him their daughter. No. The father is there, and he must find someone who will be responsible and will take best care of and provide best spiritual guidance for his daughter.

Thus, the father will be very discriminating. He can see if the man is play boy, or is only interested in adoration, or if the man is serious about giving protection. And he can see how well is he caring for his first wife? How good a father is he? How well are his children being raised? Are they spiritually healthy and happy? Then, if the man has a good track record, then why not give the daughter to a man who has a proven track record and spiritually healthy family, who is caring and loving and responsible and has proven himself to be so? When polygmay is practiced in this way, then it has safe-guards to additionally protect the women from the playboys and non-sense men who only want to take advantage of women or who are not serious about protecting women.

Prtha writes: "Shortly after Prabhupada tried this experiment of polygamy he saw that protection was not the result. Instead it became a license for illicit sex and exploitation of women. He soon revoked the instruction."

Where is her reference and logic for such a statement? When did Srila Prabhupad say this was an experiment? Whom did he personally make such arrangements for and then observe it degraded and on that account revoked his instruction? Mother Prtha gives no reference or solid verifiable evidence of this. She cannot, because this is only her misconception of what actually happened. I have studied the general topic of marraige and also specificially polygamy. I have organized his instructions chronologically,. Only from Feb of 72 for 1 /12 years did he 'support' the GBC decision not to allow it. First, it was NOT HIS opinion. There was a meeting of several senior disciples and this was THEIR decision. Not HIS. He was humble, he was trying to let them manage, so he considered himself only as one vote, and several GBC voted his instructions down, so he temporarily agreed. But, if he revoked anything, it was this that he latter revoked this position and later restated his favor toward allowing ISKCON men to practice polygamy,

What follows is part of the conversation in New Orleans, Aug 1, 1975. This is over 2 1/2 years after the letters prohibiting polygamy. Srila Prabhupad mentions the duty of the father is to get the daughter married. Srila Prabhupad says even the man has got 50 wives, if he is qualfiied, then if the father gives his daughter then his duty to properly protect his daughter and get her properly married is sovled. He has even instructed that even men over 50 can take additional wife. Then he spoke about how when the wife is pregnant she can be taken care of at her mother's house, or our temples can make one house where pregnant women can go to be taken best care of. Then he said the man can go to the next wife. After this Nityananda asks:

Nityananda: "Are you saying that our men should have more than one wife?". PrabhupŠd, "I have no objection".
Satsvarup: "That's a difficult proposition"
PrabhupŠd: "Why?".
Satsvarup: "It's not allowed in this country. It's, it's illegal. It's against the law."
PrabhupŠd: "That is not very difficult"
NityŠnanda: No, itâs a matter of... No one knows who is married or unmarried, but If you have...
PrabhupŠda: "That is not very difficult."
SatsvarŸpa: Well, the other difficulty, you brought this up several years ago, was that the men who take many wives have to be very select. Otherwise men will be attracted to join our movement for sex life, having different wives.
PrabhupŠda: No, no, unless our men are trained up, why you should allow to stay here and to wife. We want trained up men, not third-class picked-up. We want men who will follow the rules and regulations and fully trained up. Otherwise we donât want. We donât want ordinary karmŽs and... And if he agrees to be trained up, then weâll take. Otherwise what is the use of bringing some useless men? He must agree to produce his own food, and work. Our rules and regulations, he must follow. Then it will be ideal community. Otherwise, if you bring from here and there some men and fill up, that is not good thing. This is a training institution, to become devotee.

SatsvarŸpa: Everything we do, we donât hide it. We show the world what weâre doing. I donât see how we could hide that one man had many different wives.
PrabhupŠda: If you donât call wife, you can have. The law allows you to keep boyfriend, girlfriend. Then the... Instead of calling "husband,ä call "friend.ä Thatâs all. But, er, it is risky and the man must be responsible to keep... To keep more than one wife by trained-up man is not disallowed. BrahmŠnanda : But I think they thought that he could get it legally established, at least in the state of California.
PrabhupŠda: Well then go and marry there. If the state of California allows that, then they all can go to California.
NityŠnanda: The general public objects to that... Itâs very...
PrabhupŠda: Public we donât care. We... What is the public? We have got our own public here. So pub... What is the public? All rascals. They are killing cows and drinking and topless dance, bottomless dance. What is the value of this public? All rascals. I donât give any importance to this class of public, only after sense gratification, thatâs all. They have no ideals of life. They do not know what is God. What is the value of this public? Mudhas, they have been described, mudhas. You know the meaning of mudha
Devotee (1): Ass.
PrabhupŠda: Ass...

Yes, as mother Prtha pointed out, Srila Prabhupad did write letters in Feb of 73 asking that polygamy be prohibited. Because of legal reasons, as far as I have been able to determine, he had to write an official letter denouncing it, otherwise the letter dated Jan 10th of 73 could have been used to deport him, or to create legal problems for ISKCON.

But, that was Feb of 73. Clearly by August of 75 he no longer towed that line, instead, a GBC is arguing against it and SP defeats him and argues for it to be allowed.

Mother Prtha said, "One who thinks he has already achieved sufficient perfection is the one in greatest trouble. It is a disservice to men to advocate polygamy."

Then, will she also blame Srila Prabhupad for his advocacy of polygamy? In 1975, in the above conversation, it is Srila Prabhupad himself who is advocating this. And while we must be humble, we must also use our intelligence. If a man truly did not feel he were able to protect and guide a wife and children then he has no business marrying even one wife. As SP said, we don't want picked up 3rd class or 10th class men, we want 1st class men, and if they are not first class, then they should not marry even one wife. And if they are at least enough on the level of first class, then let them protect and guide as many wives or children as they can.

Mother Prtha wrongly claims that Srila Prabhupad's last instructions on the mater were those letters from Feb of 73. She is writing about something she has too little knowledge of to intelligently speak about.

Not just 2 years after, even in 1973, a few months after he wrote letters prohibiting it he then spoke in class, May, the 13th, 1973 (speaking about getting the daughter married),

"So if each and every woman has to be married, then there is no sufficient number of male population, therefore, according to Vedic rituals, those who are higher caste, just like the ksatriyas or the brahmanas, especially, others also, polygamy is allowed. Polygamy is allowed." -- 730513sb.la

Examine the chronology. Jan. 10th of 1973 he write the leading GBC man in ISKCON and tells him to introduce this in our society, calling it the best idea, the best system to protect the women. Then, several GBC make a big noise and so exactly one later he writes saying that it should not be allowed. But, it must have been so that his first letter could no longer be used to deport him, because just a few months later, speaking about getting our daughters married, he says, "Polygamy is allowed. Polygamy is allowed".

Or Srimad Bhagavatam Lecture June 12, 74 Srila Prabhupad says that it is the duty of the father to get his daughter married before the age of puberty. Somehow or other, he must get her married, that is his duty. Then PrabhupŠd asks,

"Where so many husbands? Therefore polygamy was allowed.... ...you can marry, that is Vedic civilization, more then one wife. Because every female must be married, so where are so many husbands? So, therefore polygamy was allowed, but the man who marries he must be able to maintain the wife very nicely. That is Hindu or Vedic civilization. That is kutumba, kutumba-bharnar, maintaining the family." -- 740612sb.par

Some may argue that Srila Prabhupad was speaking about the way things used to be in Vedic times. These are not instructions for us to follow. No, they are, he was instructing how to get the daughter married, then how to find enough good men? He says, You can marry... more than one wife. But, even if you argue this was about how things used to be in Vedic culture, that was not his argument in the conversation quoted above in New Orleans on Aug 1st of 1975. A devotee asks if our men, our ISKCON men, should take more than one wife and to that direct question about the men in ISKCON at the current time, Srila Prabhupad says that he has no objection. And even though a leading GBC man objected to Srila Prabhupad's position favoring it, Srila Prabhupad argued point by point and defeated all arguments opposing it. This was Srila Prabhupad's direct opinion in 1972, and in Jan. of 73. It was his opinion he expressed in SB class in May of 73. Only a series of 3 letters written in a matter of a few days and done so at the request of a few GBC did he support THEIR views and wrote to prohibit it. But, clearly by 1975 he is fully rejecting his GBC men's views. Srila Prabhupad is again advocating in favor of polygamy. And even though one or two GBC men are arguing against it, Srila Prabhupad argues back this time and defeats them and overrides their objections. Even to the sensitive issue that the public may object to this. What did he say about that directly concerning polygamy? He ridiculed this argument. The so-called public are meat eaters, cow killers, drunkards, woman chasers. Who cares for their opinion. We have got our own public, headed by SP. His opinion is who we must be concerned to please. And his opinion is that he is advocating for polygamy to be practiced as a means to assure all our daughters get properly married. He once told devotees that if you try to only please the opinion of the public, this public will not be pleased until you agree to dance naked in public. Then they will be pleased.

As mother Prtha says herself, that: "one must ALWAYS follow the instructions of Srila Prabhupada". All right, these are his instructions. The father's duty is to protect his daughter via marriage.

"So All girls must be married. That is... They must... They must have one husband, even the husband has got fifty wives. Then the problem of girl's marriage is solved." (Aug 1st 75 New Orleans)

You say we must follow, so this is his later instruction, why you not follow this? You think you can select which instructions you like and reject those you don't? If you call yourself follower, this is his later instruction, so follow it. Or keep quiet.

And what about his written instructions in his books?

Purport to SB 4.26.6 "People have become so degraded in this age that on the one hand they restrict polygamy and on the other hand they hunt for women in so many ways. Many business concerns publicly advertise that topless girls are available in this club or in that shop. Thus women have become instruments of sense enjoyment in modern society. The Vedas enjoin, however, that if a man has the propensity to enjoy more than one wife, as is sometimes the propensity for men in the higher social order, such as the brŠhma‘as, k–atriyas and vaishyas, and even sometimes the sŸdras, he is allowed to marry more than one wife. Marriage means taking complete charge of a woman and living peacefully without debauchery. At the present moment, however, debauchery is unrestricted. Nonetheless, society makes a law that one should not marry more than one wife. This is typical of a demoniac society." -- Purport to SB 4.26.6

Also in Caitanya Caritamrta Madhya 7.128, in the purport Prabhupad says: "Instead of living engrossed in material activities, people throughout the world should take advantage of this movement and chant the Hare KŒ–‘a mahŠ-mantra at home with their families. One should also refrain from sinful activitiesillicit sex, meat-eating, gambling and intoxication. Out of these four items, illicit sex is very sinful. Every person must get married. Every woman especially must get married. If the women outnumber the men, some men can accept more than one wife. In that way there will be no prostitution in society. If men can marry more than one wife, illicit sex life will be stopped. " -- Purport to CC Madhya Lila 7.128

Here Srila Prabhupad says that if men car marry more than one wife, illicit sex life will be stopped. So, yes, we must follow these later instructions of our spiritual master. Why engage in false and misleading information? Mother Prtha wants everyone to think Srila Prabhupad's later instructions were opposed to this. That he revoked his favorable stance. No. He revoked it, yes, only for a short time, then he re-invoked his original and actual personal favorable stand on the issue. So, yes, why not follow thse later instructions of Srila Prabhupad?

>From Caitanya Caritamrita Adi Lila 14.58, Purport "The social structure allowing a man to marry more than one wife can be supported in this way. Generally in every society the female population is greater in number than the male population. Therefore it is a principle in the society that all girls should be married, unless polygamy is allowed it will not be possible. If all the girls are not married there is good chance of adultery, and a society in which adultery is allowed cannot be very peaceful or pure. In our Krishna Conscious society we have restricted illicit sex life. The practical difficulty is to find a husband for each and every girl. We are therefore in favor of polygamy, provided, of course, that the husband is able to maintain more then one wife." -- Purport from CC Adi Lila 14.58

So, if mother Prtha has real concern for following the later instructions of Srila Prabhupad, and if she has real concern for the women, for the unwed girls in our society, then she must accept and follow the above instructions as well. Srila Prabhupad says that unless polygamy is allowed it will not be possible to properly protect, via marriage, all the girls in our society. If people like mother Prtha instist on monogamy in ISKCON then she and devotees who preach like this are advocating that many of our girls will be left improperly or completely without proper protection. She is advocating that for some of our daughters they will practice adultry and thus the society will not become peaceful or pure. In other words, Srila Prabhupad is actually stating that only when polygamy is allowed will adultry be stopped, and only then can society become peaceful and pure.

I know which side of the fence I stand on this issue. It is on the side of dharma. It is on the side of Srila Prabhupad. It is on the side of real protection for the women. It is on the side of making our society pure and peaceful. It is on the side of allowing polygamy. It is on the side of follwing Srila Prabhupad's instructions in his books and his later verbal instructions. I fully agree with the words of Srila Prabhupad when he says, "We are, therefore, in favor of polygamy" At least I will stand up to be counted in favor, despite the barking dogs that object.

Mother Prtha says: "While some men claim polygamy will resolve the divorce issue, this is illusion at best."

She should be more careful, because Srila Prabhupad is the one who has made these claims, other men like myself, we are simply repeating what he has taught. Is she saying that Srila Prabhupad is in illusion? Then she is in the illusion of thinking she knows way more then she actually does. She thinks she is better then Srila Prabhupad? If she cannot substantiate each idea or statement she makes by verifiable references to the shastra or teachings of her spiritual master, she had best keep quiet and listen, not speak.

Mother Prtha says: "In polygamy a woman is more likely to leave, not less", What shastra or research statistics is she quoting from, or is this just her own mental speculations? She says, :"There are not any legal marital papers, which will eventually make her feel there is insufficient commitment or that she, and her children, will not be properly provied for. In addition..."

Obviously she has not read much on the topic. There are over 48,000 polygamous marriages just in the state of Utah. There are 10's of 1,000's of others in Arizona, New Mexico, etc. How do they do it? First of all the men are only legally married to one, or not legally married at all. But, a legally binding "Partnership" contract can be, and many do this, drawn up that gives the legally unwed co-wife the same financial legal recourse as a lawfully wedded wife. These contracts are partnership legal agreements that do not use the words marriage or husband or wife, but can state such things as fidelity or terms of loyal friendship, that as long as the woman agrees to be the loyal friend and does not enter into a physical relationship with another man, the man can be bound by legal contract to be financially responsible for any children she bears by him, and he can be legally bound to be responsible for her, virtually the same as a marriage contract.

Mother Prtha says: "Then there are children. What a mess." Polygamy does not make for a mess. What is a real mess is when a woman with child remarries. That, Srila Prabhupad often quoted Chanakya Pandit, the mother becomes her child's worse enemy. Where did SP or shastra ever state such negative things regarding polygamy? Prtha's statement cannot be supported by shastra. Contrary to what Prtha's mental speculation says, the great and fully enlightened Founder-Acharya of ISKCON, AC BSP, says that polygamy will STOP illicit sex in society. He has said that it is the best solution for divorce. Mother Prtha is only listening to her own mind telling her what she wants to hear, and ignoring the truth in Srila Prabhupad's own words.

She admits that Srila Prabhupad taught that polygamy is really for the protection of the women, but then she says, "polygamy merely allows a man to run from wife to wife whenever one isn't "making him happy." He is miserable and thinks a new woman will resolve that." She is totally rejecting and ignoring the fact that there are real men who really and sincerely want to protect women, and not so caught up in their own selfish sense enjoyment as she seems to think everyone but herself is.

Then she says, "Srila Prabhupada created a brahmacarini ashrama for women who don't marry, therefore there is protection." Contrast this with what Srila Prabhupad actually said about that on April 29th, 1977. Srila PrabhupŠd is speaking with Tamal about the education of our young girls:

PrabhupŠda: So far gurukula is concerned, that also, I have given program. They have given the name of "girls.ä We are not going to do that ...
...Girls. Boys and girls. That is dangerous.... ...Girls should be completely separated from the very beginning. They are very dangerous. TamŠla Krsna: So weâre... I thought there were girls in Vrndavana now. They said that theyâre going to have the girlsâ gurukula behind the boysâ gurukula. GopŠla was talking about that.
PrabhupŠda: No, no, no. No girls.
TamŠla Krsna: It should be in another city or somewhere else. PrabhupŠda: Yes. They should be taught how to sweep, how to stitch...
TamŠla Krsna: Clean.
PrabhupŠda: ...clean, cook, to be faithful to the husband.
TamŠla Krsna: They donât require a big school.
PrabhupŠda: No, no. That is mistake. They should be taught how to become obedient to the husband.
TamŠla Krsna Yeah, you wonât learn that in school.
PrabhupŠda: Little education, they can...
TamŠla Krsna: Yeah. That they can get at home also.
PrabhupŠda: They should be stopped, this practice of prostitution. This is a very bad system in Europe and America. The boys and girls, they are educated, coeducation. From the very beginning of their life they become prostitutes. And they encourage.
TamŠla Krsna: Oh, yeah.
Prabhupad ...Woman brahmacarini, this is artificial.
TamŠla Krsna: In our centers, though, there are so many brahmacarinis, and even sometimes theyâre encouraged to remain brahmacarini.
PrabhupŠda: That they cannot. As soon as they will find opportunity, they will become vyabhicarini (prostitute)... ... For woman, protection".
Tamal "So, you don't advocate this remaining sing, these women remaining brahmacarinis"

PrabhupŠd "Therefore polygamy was allowed. Let them be taken care of, one husband, three wives." -- 770429rc.bom

Mother Prtha, why don't you listen and read more first, before you speak? In 1977 before he left our vision Srila Prabhupad clearly teaches us here that the brahmacarini ashram is artificial. That it is not possible to keep women as brahmacarini. And for protection, he says, "Therefore polygamy was allowed. Let them be taken care of, one husband, three wives" Polygamy is what Srila Prabhupad has insructed how to properly protect you women, not encouraging brahmacarini, that is artificial, that will lead to prostitution. That is what SP taught.

So, yes, mother Prtha, let us follow the written and later verbal instructions of Srila Prabhupad. You say if the men are really concerned about protecting women they will be concerned that women in the brahmacarini ashrams are not over worked. Yes, but I go further and based on these instructions by Srila Prabhupad, I say if they are realy concerned they will marry 3 of them, or encourage some other responsible man to do so. This way they can make sure the girls are properly cared for and protected as per Srila Prabhupad's later instructions.

When many people hear the word polygamy they think it is synopsis with sense enjoyment for the men. What is there to enjoy? If a man is only interested in passing seman in more than one vagina, there are any number of different and young vaginas for sale all over the world where he can do just that. But, polygamy does not mean sense enjoyment, it means protection. If you see it as enjoyment, then that is obviously a reflection of where your own head is at. Personally, I can say that for the past 8 years that I have studied this topic that I have only seen it as a grave and terrrible responsiblity for the man. I have made some attempts to take another wife, but, no one has agreed, still during that time I have never thought about it in terms of increasing my sense enjoyment. That was never my intention or purpose. So, mataji, speak for yourself. I have only seen it as a great burden and responsibility to take on an additional wife. It means to protect and guide another soul, to engage another soul in Krsna's service, and to increase the number of children and dependents. It is a grave responsibility.when a man takes 1 wife, and it is twice as sobering twice the responsibility to take 2 wives. Mother Prtha admits that to make a single relationship work is a lot of hard work. 10 wives would be very, very hard work. If the man only wants sense enjoyment, hiring 10 prostitues would be much less work. But, polygamy means marriage and responsibility. 10 wvies would mean 30 children, that is 41 people to feed, to cloth, to shelter. Where is the added sense enjoyment for a sober man who is serious about protecting such wives and guiding such a family? For such sober men their enjoyment is in being a responsible husband and father. His happiness will come from how well he can care for his wives and make them happy and engage them in the service of Krsna. His happiness will be to raise his 30 children to become productive Vaishnavs who are very devoteed to the mission of Mahaprabhu. That will be a sober devotee's happiness. His increased happiness in life comes from these noble and honorable actions, not from his genitals. That seems to be what you think, and that is foolish. There are men in this world who are real gentlemen and who are above such thinking. There really are men who actually think in terms of responsibility and duty, and not in terms of vaginas and genitals. And it is those men who are the ones who can and actually should practice polygamy and give their better guidance and protection to as many wives and children as they can.

As far as the number of girls needing good husbands, mother Prtha seems to suggest that there is no lack of first-class qualified men to marry all our unwed daughters. Gee whiz mataji, I seem to be missing something somewhere. Everyone else who has a daughter of marriageable age says just the opposite. They can't seem to find enough good young men. Polygamy, or I should say marriage period, is for young unwed virgin girls, not for older already once married women to find a second or third guy to sleep with. In one letter to Bhagawan, Sept 7th of 75, Srila Prabhupad says that if the men live outside of the temple ashrams and work and can maintain their wives, then he has no objection if his men marry 16,000 wives each. But, in the same letter he states "Nor can women with child strictly she cannot marry again." -- Letter 75-09-07 to Bhagavan. (If one wants to promote themselves as follower of SP, then they must also follow and promote this instruction. If someone selectively chooses which instruction to follow and promote and which to silently reject, then they are not a real follower.) The point is, marriage is for the unwed, never wed, virgin girls. And when I do the math, I see that there are more unwed daughters in need of good husbands then there are qualified unwed staunch men to marry them.

In mother Prtha's article she quotes from the three letters SP sent out in Feb of 73 but she is completely wrong when she states that: "Many years passed since Srila Prabhupada revoked the instruction of polygamy, right on up to his disappearance. He had plenty of time to add a comment that eventually he wanted polygamy to be reinstated and practiced at some future date. However, he NEVER gave such an instruction. Therefore his last instruction on this stands. No polygamy, forever. " Either mother Prtha is foolishly presenting herself as an authoity on a topic which she very noticiably has not studied very well at all, or she knows fully well that Srila Prabhupad gave so many other instructions favoring polygamy since that time and she has chosen to out right lie in an atempt to cheat and mislead others by making such obviously false statements. On one hand, he made so many other instructions it would be hard to believe that anyone could have even superficially researched this and not have found them. One would simply make a fool of themsevles to present themselves as being knowledgeable about something when they had not studied it very carefully. Yet, we would not think that mother Prtha would consciously lie and try to mislead everyone.

All of the quotes I gave above were made well after the February 1973 letters. I am not sure about the Canto 4 Bhagavatam Purports, but I am sure the CC purports were made after that date. What to speak of his instructions given in 1977. Including Feb 27, 1977 when he was speaking with Radhavallabha about setting standards for the marriage of our daughters, Srila Prabhupad mentions that men can marry more than one wife, but the girls must only marry one husband. Or a few days latter on March 2nd, 1977. The GBC did not know what to do about the women's TSKP partys, and approached SP to have him say something to stop this idea that the women should see the men who head up the parties like husbands. But, instead of saying anything against it, Srila Prabhuapds said:

PrabhupŠda: Husband, but why he does not marry them? SatsvarŸpa: Well, sometimes there may be as many as twenty women in a party. Kirtanananda: They would like to. PrabhupŠda: We have no objection if one marries more than one wife. That I have stated. But law does not allow it. So do the needful. -- 770302rc.may

So, what is that needful thing? We refer back to the previous instructions. In 1975 he instructed Satsvarup that the legal issue was not difficult, just don't marry, don't call husband or wife, keep as girl friends. And he wrote Bhagavan in Sept of 75, that the temples cannot be involved officially due to legal problems, yet as long as the men make their own arrangements for additional wives and do so out of the legal jurasdiction of the temples, then he has no objection if his men take even 16,000 wives. So, referring to those more recent previous instructions, we know what is the needful thing that Srila Prabhupad was asking to be done.

Previously I gave the quote from April 29th of 1977 where Srila Prabhupad taught that the brahmacarini ashrams were artificial and that the girls must not be encouraged to remain brahmacarini. He advised that polygamy was the proper system. Let them be protected. One husband, three wives.

Then on June 28th, 1977, less then 5 months before his disappearance from our sight, Srila Prabhupad gave his last and final instructions on the matter of marriage of the daughter, and simultenously on the topic of polygamy (at least that I could find in the Vedabase)

June 28th, 77 PrabhupŠda: ·And the boy and the girl are not allowed to mix with second girl, second boy. They are kept strictly. And when theyâre grown up, theyâre allowed to mix and the affection becomes firm. These are psychology. It is the psychology of woman that before puberty, if she has got a boy, she loves forever. Sheâll never be unchaste. So these marriage things are done very psychologically, scientifically, so that they may become happy, and then, in peaceful mind, combine together, good cooperation, they make progress, spiritual. This is the plan, varnashram-dharma. Very scientific. And Krsna says, "I am that.ä Whatever Krsna shall give, perfect. Nobody cares they are suffering. TamŠl Krsna: Now you are introducing again to the world. There is good hope. Young girls in our society, they should be promised to some boy just in the same way, by their parents.

[Srila Prabhupad wasnât speaking of old India, or ideal Vedic times. He wanted us to follow this. Our daughters are to be married this way. Before puberty. This is Prabhupadâs instruction. He says it is Varnashram-Dharma and calls it "Krsna's plan". PrabhupŠdâs added response to the idea of ISKCON devotee parents giving their daughters in marriage at puberty age is interesting·]

PrabhupŠda: And if required, one man can take care of more than one wife because woman population is greater. TamŠl Krsna: Right. And some boys want to remain brahmacŠri. So naturally thereâs fewer men for women. PrabhupŠda: And those who are able, you can keep more than one wife. Just see Krsna, sixteen thousand wives. God. That is God. Come on, if there is anyone to compete. Sixteen thousand palaces, sixteen thousands wives, each wife, ten sons. That is God.

["Those who are able, you can keep more than one wifeä. The "youä he is referring to is the ISKCON devotees. His followers.]

TamŠla Krsna: No one is equal to or greater than Him. PrabhupŠda: All queens are happy. Whatever she desires from husband... SatyabhŠmŠ... And Krsna went to the heaven and brought the pŠrijŠta flower to satisfy. This is husband. Wife has asked for something: "All right.ä TamŠla Krsna: He even had to fight. PrabhupŠda: Oh, yes. That is husbandâs duty. She has dedicated her everything to the husband, and husband must see that she is comfortable. This is husband. She must have children, she must have good house, good eating, good clothing, good ornament. Then she is satisfied. They want these things. A woman does not mind very much, "My husband has got more than one wife.ä If she gets all the comforts of her wishes, some children and some comforts, then she is... She does not grudge because woman knows manâs psychology. A man is not satisfied with one woman. So he must be given that. But she must be chaste. She cannot have more than... Then their relation is all right. If the woman allows husband, "He likes. Let him have more than one woman, but I must be chasteä, this... Our civilization is nowhere, Vedic culture. 770628r2.vrn

This is actually Srila Prabhupad's last and final instruction on the matter. Made only months before his physical departure. And so many other instructions he made for years leading up to this, it is very obvious to any sober level headed person who has taken the time to research this properly that the strong letters he wrote back in Feb of 73 he no longer supported - at all. He revoked those letters, which were not his opioins any way, but were the opinions of several GBC, he rejected that in favor of polygamy. So, as mother Prtha stated, let us set the issue straight. But really straight. Not crookedly straight.

Again, Mother Prtha was either intentionly trying to mislead and cheat, or she simply did not do very much research on the topic before opening her mouth. Either way, her statement is totally unfounded and false that: "Many years passed since Srila Prabhupada revoked the instruction of polygamy, right on up to his disappearance. He had plenty of time to add a comment that eventually he wanted polygamy to be reinstated and practiced at some future date. However, he NEVER gave such an instruction. Therefore his last instruction on this stands. No polygamy, forever. "

The reality is that he did make plenty of not just 'comments' that eventually he wanted polygamy, he gave out right arguments and instructions that he was either totally in favor of it or at least had no objection to it if it were done properly. And, since mother Prtha herself seems to put so much emphasis (as it rightly should be put) on Srila Prabhupad's last and final instructions on this matter, then lets get the history right. The very last instruction was to get the daughters married very young, by puberty, and "If required, one man can take care of more than one wife because woman population is greater." .... ... "And those who are able, you can keep more than one wife."

So, I challenge Mother Prtha to prove her desire to follow Srila Prabhupad's last instructions is a genuine show of her devotion to him. If she cannot follow or have her daughter follow, then at least let her promote Srila Prabhupad's real last instructions on the matter. Prabhupad further instructed:

"She does not grudge because woman knows manâs psychology. A man is not satisfied with one woman. So he must be given that. But she must be chaste. She cannot have more than... Then their relation is all right. If the woman allows husband, "He likes. Let him have more than one woman, but I must be chasteä June 28th, 1977.

This is Srila Prabhupad's last instruction. The wife must not grudge her husband, she must remain chaste, but she also must understand that it is man's psychology. She must give him that and allow him to take more than one wife. Then Srila Prabhupad says their relation is all right. THEN THEIR RELATION IS ALL RIGHT. It is all right when the wife ALLOWS her husband to take take more than one wife. Then their relation is all right.

This is actually Srila Prabhupad's last instruction on this matter. Not what mother Prtha has wrongly stated either due to a foolish lack of proper and careful research or due to a very bent and biased prejudice against the subject and a conscious effort to lie and mislead everyone.

She wrote so lofty in noble terms of actually following Srila Prabhupad's last instructions on this topic. But, she was off by 4 years as to what his last instructions were. So, I make a challange, how sincere and geniune is her desire to follow Prabhupad''s last instructions on this? Or was she merely using those instructions that supported her own idea, and will now come up with an excuse why she must reject Srila Prabhupad's true last instructions on the matter? We will assume that she just didn't know what his last instructions really were, and now that she does, I challenge her, not just her, I challange all parents, all devotees, the GBC, will you now accept and promote Srila Prabhupad's actual last instructions on the matter, or will you become weak and listen to the maya in your mind and come up with lame excuses justifying how you must reject Srila Prabhupad's actual last instructions?

Mother Prtha is an old friend of my wife's. I put the challenge as an old friend. Accept these instructions Srila Prabhupad gave, and at minimum promote them over and above his previous ones, which we see that is what he himself did.

You can do this in many ways. If your last daughter is not married yet or betrothed, then follow these last instructions by Srila Prabhupad. He instructed that "If Required" the men can take more than one wife. The requirement he gave is to get the daughter married BEFORE puberty, or at least during puberty. Your daughter is well past this age. Thus she qualfies in the catagory that if required to get her married, then give her to a man as second wife. Or even she is already married, then if the husband is first class devotee, you may know some other girl in need of husband, you can promote these instructions of SP and encourage your son-in-law to give protection to more than one wife. In this way you can prove your genuine sincerity, devotion and commitment to your most noble idea of following Srila Prabhupad's actual last instructions on this matter. Otherwise, what service to Srila Prabhupad are your unfounded and false articles?

Anyway, these things cannot be done hap-hazzardly, so I don't encourage to do this improperly. I am just trying to make my point. At least, if you cannot follow it yourself or to get your daughter married in this way, and cannot promote the actual later instructions of Srila Prabhupad, then it is only proper that you humbly accept defeat and stop writing such articles as they only expose your foolishness and lack of proper understanding of such intricate topics of dharma.

Your old friend, and actually your well wisher,

ameyatma das

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