06/18/98 - 1877

Letter to Sri Srimad Narayana Maharaja from Senior Prabhupada Disciple

USA (VNN) - by Puru Das

Dear Srila Narayan Maharaj,

Please accept my fallen obeisances at your lotus feet. All glories to Sri Guru and Gouranga. All glories to Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Maharaj, Srila Prabhupada. All glories to His Divine Grace Srila Kesava Maharaj, in this year of his centennial.

I want to thank you wholeheatedly for giving me your merciful association this past weekend. Maharaj, my wife does not always understand me, my children often misunderstand me, my godbrothers never or hardly ever understand me. But I know that you understand my heart.

In Srila Prabhupada's letter to you of Sept. 28, l966 he wrote to you: "Our relationship is certainly based on spontaneous love. That is why there is no chance of us forgetting one another. By the mercy of Guru and Gauranga may everything be auspicious for you. That is my constant prayer. From the first time I saw you I have been your constant well wisher. At his first sight of me Srila Prabhupada also saw me with such love." So after finally meeting you in person I believe I can appreciate just a little how Srila Prabhupada must have felt.

A fallen, lusty demon, unqualified to understand bhava, a crow to the end I most likely will be. Envious of Krsna and his rasa lila, and determined to immitate the Dvida Dvida gorilla seems my fate. However envious of the Supreme Lord I may be I have never that I can remember ever harbored any envy of my guru maharaj. The one time I felt resentment for his strictness I knew instinctively that it was due to my own weakness of heart.

"We think that your goodness is met by the will of providence. Just to accept you as the captain of the ship, which desires to cross over the difficult ocean of kali, which destroys all the good qaulities in mankind." This sloka spoken to Suta Goswami by the sages of Naimasharanya has always inspired me. I would boldy compose a different version of it to offer to your lotus feet.

"We think that your goodness is met by the will of providence. Just to accept you as our captain's most dear associate and well wisher to help guide our ship across the difficult ocean of kali, which has destroyed much of guru maharaj's ship by the same will of providence, and the ultimate plan and grace of Sri Gouranga."

I am not much of a scholar. I have little propensity for delving into deep issues of siddhanta. I can barely chant the maha mantra with any feeling due to my hard heart. Yet I met your grace I could only think of one part of the Lord's statement from Ch. 12 of the Udyoga Parva of Hamala Subramaniam's Mahabharta, "Krsna The Peacemaker." Lord Krsna says to the incorrigable Duryodhona:

"I am not interested in your grand feast. I do not relish food in the house of a person who is not righteous. You have been hating the Pandavas without reason, for the last so many years. The Pandavas are dear to me. I am the soul of the Pandavas. He who is a slave to avarice and ill treats them, is considered by me to be the lowliest of men. You hate them. So the food which you offer me is the food of an enemy. It must not be eaten. The pandavas mean my very life to me. Your food is not welcome to me. I will eat only the food given to me by Vidura. HE is dear to me and the Padndavas are dear to him."

So similarly you are so dear to Srila Prabhuapda, and He is dear to you.

Srila Prabhupada and serving his vanih are my life maharaj. Had I not met His Grace I would have died long ago, or lost my mind completely or simply withered away into a lifeless lump of uselessness. I can never repay my debt to Him, and I can never repay my debt to you for helping me to remember the sweetness of His association in taking yours. Thank you so much for coming to the west to help us.

We (Srila Prabhupada's disciples) have been like the orphaned Pandavas since l977 and you have come to help reclaim our hearts and offer us shelter just like Uncle Vidura. The time has come for our exile to end and to return to Hastinapura. Our battle of Kurukshetra now presents itself. Will we be able to rise from the dust of the Pheonex of ISKCON and fulfill Srila Prabhupada's dream for spreading Krsna consciousness? I cannot say. But I can say that I will die trying, and I am so grateful to know that at least someone else, just one other soul, understands my motive and heart of hearts, in this reagrd, for the Bhaktivedanta Memorial Museum and Library Ashram's future.

We did not have time to talk privately. I hope I will be able to show you some of the many original documents from Swami Maharaj that Krsna has placed in my care, and tell you how I would like to offer them to the world, along with whatever other paraphernalia still exists. It pains me greatly that I cannot offer to take you to the original exhibit at the iskcon brooklyn temple. In the same way Vidura did not want Krsna to approach Duryodhona's palace for fear of his mistreatement. So I cannot even think of subjecting you to the atmosphere there. Bad enough I have to tolerate it just to serve Lord Jagannatha for the upcoming Rathaytra. I will try for some photos at least.

If we can arrange perhaps you can stop and brighten my dark well with the grace of the dust of your lotus feet, and I can show you some of the Memorial's archvies. Otherwise I can bring to you at the 1st Ave. facility, whichever is more convenient to your good self. I also have one "Tridandi Goswami" letterhead project working, for fund raising for the Museum, which Iwould like to show to you.

Posters from Aghraya are already posted around town,by myself and Braja Kishore prabhu (My only helper) and I will do whatever I can to make your short visit most pleasant and convenient. I hope this letter reaches you before you arrive in NY. I will coordinate all I can with your entourage and its most competent representatives.

Yous grateful servant,
Puru Das Adhikari

N.B. With your permission I would also like to add this letter of appreciation by my useless self at the end of the "Srila Prabhupada's Letters from America" booklet, that I am re printing for distribution to the devotees here in NY, with any reply you might bless me with.