12/26/97 - 1432
Better To Die In Vrindavan
USA (VNN) - By Gauridasa Pandita Dasa
Pradyumna and myself arrived in Vrindavan from Hrishikesh at about
4am. We alerted the temple President, Akshayananda Maharaja, of
Srila Prabhupada's statement that he was coming to Vrindavan to
'leave his body'. We were all shocked at the news. The Maharaja
didn't tell the devotees right away why he was coming, just that
he was coming soon and the devotees started ecstatically cleaning
his quarters during the morning program. The Holy dust of Vrindavan
had blown about everywhere and there was a lot of mercy to deal
with. Srila Prabhupada arrived at the temple at about 7am. At
this point Srila Prabhupada's health had deteriorated so much
that he could no longer walk on his own. The devotees in Vrindavan,
and around the world, were unaware of this. We brought a rocking
chair out to the car to carry Srila Prabhupada in.
He asked, as usual, to see the Deities first. We carried him into
the temple and placed him before Sri Sri Gaura - Nitai. Srila
Prabhupada stood up offering his respectful obeisance's. At this
point someone took the chair away. Srila Prabhupada stood there
gazing at Their Lordships for a few moments with tears decorating
his face. Then he moved to sit in the chair that wasn't there.
We had to catch him. The devotees looked at each other with grave
concern. We brought the chair back and carried Srila Prabhupada
over to Sri Sri Krishna and Balarama. Again Srila Prabhupada stood
up with tears in his eyes. (This time the chair stayed!) We then
moved over to Sri Sri Radha Symasundara and Sri Lalita and Sri
Visaka's alter. Again Srila Prabhupada rose up and gazed lovingly
at the Deities. After a few moments he turned to us and said that
he wanted to see all of the devotees in his room.
We carried Srila Prabhupada to his room and he took his seat at
his desk. The devotees filled the room quickly and were crowded
around the doors and windows trying to see and hear our divine
master. When all the devotees settled in as much as possible Srila
Prabhupada began to speak:
"So I cannot speak. I am feeling weak. I was to go to other places
like Chandigarh, but I canceled the program because the condition
of my health is very deteriorating. So I preferred to come to
Vrindavan. If death takes place, let it take here. So there is
nothing new to be said. Whatever I have to speak, I have spoken
in my books. Now you try to understand it and continue your endeavor.
Whether I am present or not present, it doesn't matter. As Krsna
is living eternally, similarly, the living being also lives eternally.
But kirtiryasya sa jivah: 'One who has done service for the Lord
lives forever.' So you have been taught to serve Krsna, and with
Krsna we'll live eternally. Our life is eternal. Na hanyate hanyamane
sarire. A temporary disappearance of this body, it doesn't matter.
Body is meant for disappearance. Tatha dehantara-praptih. So live
forever by serving Krsna. Thank you very much."
At this point most of the devotees were crying. To me it still
hadn't sunk in that Srila Prabhupada was about to depart this
world leaving us to grieve in his absence. Srila Prabhupada told
us to discuss amongst ourselves and we talked about the future
of ISKCON without Srila Prabhupada. It was unthinkable actually,
but we were forced to think about it due to the time factor.
Philosophically we understood that Srila Prabhupada would live
with us in his books etc. but we would so miss his physical presence.
The devotees began to wonder how the movement would go on without
Srila Prabhupada to personally direct it. How would the BBT operate?
How would the GBC act? Would someone else become the next acharya?
Srila Prabhupada answered all of these questions in the next few
weeks and months.
(to be continued)
Your Servant,
Gauridasa Pandita Dasa
