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| EUROPE November 30, 1998 VNN2580 See Related VNN Stories Monika Is To Blame? BY GURU-SHAKTI DAS GERMANY, Nov 30 (VNN) — A letter to Jayapataka Swami from Guru-shakti das: Dear Jayapataka maharaja, please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada! I tried to help Harikesa prabhu in many ways and for a long time until his behavior became intolerable for me to bear it any longer and I left him. I had a deep insight in his life and his person. I saw the way he was behaving and I heard many things he was saying. I wanted to write a report to the GBC and his former disciples but then I thought that his reputation and image was already so damaged and that therefore there was no use of writing it. But now after seeing how Monika is put in such a bad light and how she gets all the blame by Harikesa and yourself, I want to open my mouth for the sake of justice and to clear up this point. Although you don't know Monika and what she had to go trough, you still believe what Harikesa is telling you about her and you took his side. It's very regrettable to see how Harikesa is using people for his purpose. As long as they play the game for him everything is OK, but as soon as they don't play the way he wants, he throws them away and discredits them by accusing them in so many ways. I saw this type o behavior so many times: Blaming ISKCON, blaming Srila Prabhupada, blaming other leaders of the movement, blaming his own disciples and even those who after Harikesa was rejected by ISKCON were still trying to faithfully help him in different ways. Like the poor Russian devotees who gave him so much assistance, love, care and allot of money. He was treating them so badly and speaking about them in such a negative way, making them look like big fools. Radhanatha was also a victim of such exploitive behavior. I also made personal experience on how he was projecting his own frustration and defects on me. I also experienced how he was speaking very badly about Monika and she was also telling me how he was always criticizing me in her presence to make me look bad in her eyes. He NEVER admits his own mistakes and faults and he is very expert in projecting them to others. He is so convinced about his greatness and who he is (the famous identity problem he has) and that whatever he does is great and right, that it becomes impossible for him admit anything. You say that he improved but now I can see that he did NOT. He still goes on blaming the others and posing himself as the poor victim. This kind of behavior is unacceptable and is for sure not a sign of improvement as it sounds in your report. As long he is not changing this rotten attitude and as long as he does not asks forgiveness from Srila Prabhupada, his disciples, ISKCON leaders and even Monika I cannot take him serious and don't want anything to do with him. He has to admit that he is just a normal human being like everybody else, with desire like everybody else. He has to admit that his sexual desires are not something of the spiritual nature and stop trying to make a "divine lila" out of it. Is Kamalasundari now the "new expansion of Srimati Radharani and Parvati"? He was speaking like that when there was a big conflict between him and Monika. He was saying that Monika is not the right partner for him and that the trees and "they" (the devas) told him that Srimati Radharani will send another expansion for him. The reason that he is more calm and less aggressive is not due to the fact that he is free from the "negative" influence of Monika, but due to the fact that finally he could get what he really wanted: a normal conjugal relationship and sex life with his new partner. It's a very simple formula. Now that he has a normal sex life he suffers less under his passionate madness. Monika made it very clear to him from the very beginning that she would not get into a conjugal relationship with him. She loved him as a friend. He made so many attempts to push her in that direction and to have sex with her but she always refused, she never wanted to get into that dirty business. Who could withstand such powerful attempts from a personality as strong as Harikesa for such a long time? I must say my respect for such a lady. She was the one who stopped him from aggressing Ambhoda. She never wanted him to give up his Sannyas, she never wanted that he gives up his disciples and that he leaves ISKCON. It was he who told Monika so many bad things about ISKCON. By the way Monika was visiting the Abentheuer temple on a regular basis before she got to know Harikesa. He tried to buy her love in so many ways: by gifts, by money etc. He even wanted to put the Villa he bought in south of France on her name and she refused. She could have exploited him in so many ways if she wanted to. But this was no her intention. She loved him and she wanted to help him and she succeeded also. It was her who gave him back his health. Since the time I was his disciple I have never seen Harikesa in such a healthy condition. This goes to her credit. She is a powerful healer and she did a wonderful job. She definitely is a good person and does not deserve at all such blame. She neglected herself, her family, her baby and she had to sacrifice her own freedom for the sake of Harikesa. He just wanted to posses her by all means. He is such a possessive and controlling person. She had to always be on call. Now she is the black sheep and the one who deserves all the blame and he is the poor victim. What a joke! Where is the love he was speaking about one month ago? Is he still Lord Siva? She must be not anymore Parvati. Is Leon still his son who in reality is Prabhupada? As long as he was a member of ISKCON, it was the most wonderful movement. Now that he is out of it, everything is bad about ISKCON. The same with Prabhupada. The same with so many wonderful devotees and ex- disciples. The same with his eternal lover Monika. He is using things, he is using (and was using) persons for his purpose, for his sake and for his thing. He is a very egocentric person. All of this insights were very shocking to me. It is sad. I made many realizations and it helped me to understand reality more deeply. Of course my understanding about the role of the guru has changed drastically since. I could mention many more details, but at the moment there is no need to mention them. For sure Monika knows allot more. Regarding the accusation that Monika wanted him to get the money, I most say that this is another lie of his. Monika was never into money. It was Harikesa who was constantly telling her how ISKCON has cheated him and how they wanted to get his three millions by unfair means etc. etc. She just reacted and gave advise on the information she was getting from Harikesa. He created such a paranoiac situation as if the whole of ISKCON was trying to cheat him. This was also the reason why he kicked out Visvadeva and other disciples whom he considered loyal to him. This happened during that critical time of conflict for the money. For sure it was not Monika. Again he cannot admit that it was him. He has to project it on others. Such cowardliness! All of you may ask yourself why I went so far? For different reasons: 1. I did not want to blindly follow a GBC resolution. 2. I saw it as my duty as a former disciple to try everything to help my Guru. 3. I wanted to know what was really going on within Harikesa. For sure it was not an easy thing, but I learned allot and I made many valuable realizations. I don't regret it. It was never my intention to go with him. Although he offered me a very high salary, he wanted me to be his manager for his healing center and although he tried in so many ways to get me under his control and to make it attractive for me, I never wanted to leave ISKCON and of course I never wanted to leave the divine shelter of Srila Prabhupada, my real spiritual father and master. I had many arguments with him because I could not accept many of his philosophical conclusions. I once challenged him and Sannyas when they started to criticize ISKCON and partially Srila Prabhupada. Radhanatha can confirm that I did not agreed with them. I still love him and pray for his sake and I hope that one day he will come back or at least become normal again. But as long as he does not change his attitude and stops blaming others instead of taking personal responsibility for what he has done in ISKCON as a leader and for what he has done after giving up the shelter of Srila Prabhupada, I don't see any chances for him. Your Servant Guru-shakti das (Harikesa disciples since 1979) See Related VNN Stories This story URL: http://vnn.org/europe/EU9811/EU30-2580.html |
