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EDITORIAL September 15, 1999 VNN4727 Related VNN Stories My Conscience Is Dictating Me BY MAHAVEGAVATI DASI EDITORIAL, Sep 15 (VNN) — Dear assembled Vaisnavas, Hare Krsna. All glories to His Divine Grace Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, who by His grace, has made such an extraordinary and successful attempt to give so many other people, and especially me, Krsna consciousness. I am submitting this entry because my conscience is dictating me to do so. I am not Krsna, and thus I am not knowing of so many things. Krsna is ultimately the ALL knowing Person. He knows the facts of a matter, ALL of them, including the motives of an individual from which come thoughts, words are spoken, and actions are performed. It was only in late 1998 that I heard about the possibility of Srila Prabhupada's being administered poison. I was SHOCKED, (to say the least), to hear it. I didn't know what to think. So "impossible" is it to me, that even if Tamal Krsna, Jaya Pataka, and Bhakti Caru Swami, (and others, if there were others who are purported to be involved), were to stand in front of the assembled Vaisnavas and said, "I was involved in the poisoning of Srila Prabhupada, " my mind STILL would NOT want to believe it because it is so HORRIBLE and practically "unbelievable" an act. It is a very sad thing indeed that this is a topic which has had to be discussed. Sad, in that something like this could possibly have happened, and should not have happened as we SO MUCH NEEDED Srila Prabhupada. It is a very difficult subject matter in and of itself for devotees to have to think about, and difficult for devotees to have to try to figure it out. Especially with ISKCON's leaders being as they are, and their influence over those newer and younger people coming to the movement, (some of whom are like "groupies" with relation to the ISKCON leaders), it must be MOST difficult for those devotees who are coming forth with the position that Srila Prabhupada was poisoned, and who are providing such information, the fact that they have to suffer repercussions for coming forth with such information that they deeply believe IS the truth. As one of Srila Prabhupada's (trying to be), faithful daughters - faithful in that I accept Srila Prabhupada as my all in all, and I am trying to do that which I feel my Spiritual Father, (and "Mother") wants me to do - I am naturally most concerned and deeply affected by the possibility that this could have indeed happened. Thus, I can not just throw the possibility away, although so many times, my mind, like a pendulum, just goes back and forth between the possibilities of either a yes or no. For many years, since the mid 1970s, I have known Geoffrey Giuliano, (who spells his name in other ways also), Jagannath Das "Puripada", and I know him VERY well. (I had said to him many times over the years that I felt I knew him better than any other ISKCON devotee), and he himself has very recently admitted, "You know me better than any other devotee in ISKCON." I feel that this is a definite fact. Of course, in the long run, it is ONLY Krsna Who can truly KNOW every aspect of the individual living entity. Recently Jagannath asked me to submit something "favorable" to VNN on his behalf. In his own words, "Hey Mother Maha, you've known me for a very long time. You should write something favorable to VNN about me." At first I jokingly declined, but since things are now "mounting", I am going to take him up on his request to "write something 'favorable'", although my posting will not be exactly what he would be 100% desireous of. As Jagannath das "Puripada" himself will tell you, (if he is in one of those more honest moods), he likes, (loves?) to be praised. As mentioned before, I have known Jeoffrey Juliano for many years. Like all of us who start off coming to Krsna consciousness for so many reasons, some of us even desiring to use Krsna for our own purposes, so he has come. Some of us come, simply because we became attracted to the esotericism of the externals. Others come for so many other reasons falling under the four headings of BG 7.16. Even if one is coming to Krsna ONLY because of some material purpose, (even that of USING Krsna for one's OWN sense gratification, be it subtle or gross), Krsna can purify the person who comes with that consciousness. (Akama sarva kamo va moksa kama udaradhih tivrena bhakti yogena yajeta purusa param) Many devotees over the years have come into contact with Jagannath Das "Puripada", and sadly, enough of those devotees who did, and who have since spoken to me, do not have anything nice to say about Jagannath. As for me, I have been able to see his both sides, the very bad, and the good side, which I feel with proper kindling, will eventually outshine the bad. I feel that Jagannath is like the thief who came to Krsna, trying to steal Krsna's jewels, but Krsna used that attraction to turn the thief into a devotee. The thief did eventually become a devotee. Jeoffrey Juliana himself has said, (either on his Chakra tape - recorded by Bir Krsna Maharaj in North Carolina where Jagannath has recently placed his two younger daughters into Urmila's school), or in his posts, that he is an opportunist. It is a fact; he is an opportunist. (He then defends that with, "What's wrong with that? Aren't we all?") To me, he will readily admit to this when I call him out, and there are others who I am sure he will admit it to, if they catch him. I don't agree with his vision of things, as I try to be more on the mark, so to speak, but for him, his cheating makes sense. Many devotees are only able to see THAT side of him. because it does come on so very strongly. (I also have fallen prey to his cheating propensity, which I have tried to tell him is not at all good for someone who is proposing to be, or become, a Vaisnava). Sometimes certain things may be so deeply ingrained within us that we are not able to rise beyond our consciousness, and it is only a matter of time, and or smashing from material nature or Krsna that will get that anartha out. Despite that negative side, I have also seen the spark of good within this person. Seeing this other side as well as the not so palatable one, I feel that eventually Jagannath, (with enough "rough embraces" from Krsna), WILL become a very serious devotee. There is a seed there, and a definite desire and attraction. As I told him in 1995, "Prabhu, I think within 10 years, you will become a serious devotee. Despite all of your other propensities, I do see that in you." With relation to the present posts concerning Srila Prabhupada's being poisoned, Nityananda prabhu's book and the poison CD, (which I myself have never heard), especially since Jagannath "Puripada" himself asked me to submit something in to VNN, I am going to give my personal opinion. Knowing Jagannath as I do, I am very upset that he has written in as he has. I feel his prime motives for doing so are materially and politically based, and I told him so directly. (He laughed and agreed with me as to my assessment of the motives behind his posts and the tape. (What can I say, other than Jagannath knows that I know him, and I am sure he will not be the most happy with this post, but he will also know that I am speaking the truth in a delicate way. It was he and others who asked me to write something, and so I am doing, in the most palatable way that I can, considering all of the factors involved.) I am disturbed not by the fact that someone presents their opinion, whatever that opinion is, (even if it was to be completely different from my own opinion). Nor am I disturbed with the person, that they present facts, even if unpalatable, surrounding a particular situation, when they are concerned with trying to bring out the truth of a particular matter. But to present what you know people WANT to hear, (simply because you know they want to hear it, even if it may not be true), simply for one's own personal concerns for one's own material, political reasons, (name, fame, and the rest), this is NOT good, ESPECIALLY when it comes to such an issue of MAJOR concern - or what should be a major concern - to devotees. I do not feel that Jagannath is writing his posts ONLY because he is concerned with the devotees "whose minds and hearts were hurt", but that there are much more "important" personal motives which, to him, take presidence. As far as his own personal opinion goes, he told me that he DOES believe that Srila Prabhupada was NOT poisoned. I did tell Jagannath das "Puripada" that if he was lying in his presentations, then he was committing some very GRAVE offenses both directly and indirectly to Srila Prabhupada and to the Vaisnavas. Despite the character of anyone involved, and our personal opinion of them, likes or dislikes, these things MUST be put to the side when it comes to finding out the truth of the matter, if that truth can be found out. Whether the statement made with regard to Rocan prabhu, (using the poison issue to "make money" on the matter), is true or not, I don't know, but if it is, then that is also a VERY offensive mentality for ANY Prabhupada disciple. A true disciple's ONLY concern, is his spiritual master's order, and in this case, to find out if Srila Prabhupada was indeed poisoned by such unscrupulous persons, if there was indeed a poisoning. Jagannath das "Puripada" makes a personal reference to Nityananda prabhu as being "a 'convicted felon'". That should NOT have entered into the discussion. Many people would have been "convicted felons" IF they only would have gotten caught for their deeds. (Is there a hint here?) Even if Nityananda prabhu is or was "a 'convicted felon'", does that matter in THIS issue at hand, if he is presenting the truth? That is the question that we should be concerned with: "Is what contained in Nityananda prabhu's book the truth, and if so, does that mean that Srila Prabhupada WAS INDEED poisoned?" Jagannath accuses Nityananda of personal motives, the old "sour grapes" theory. I do not know Nityananda prabhu, other than seeing him very briefly in the 1970s and some time ago, and thus, I am not a person to make any indepth assessment on his character. I do feel though, from what I picked up from Nityananda prabhu that he HONESTLY believes that Srila Prabhupada WAS poisoned, and I feel that this is why he went to the extent that he did, to put out his book, "Someone Has Poisoned Me". I find it VERY DIFFICULT to believe the idea, that due to "sour grapes" Nityananda prabhu would be THAT stupid, to dare to commit such offenses, (to accuse devotees of MURDERING their Spiritual Master, THE person who is NEXT to God, for the disciple), if he did not feel it was true. Anyone who would go THAT far for "sour grapes" would HAVE to be CRAZY. It is a fact that on EVERY "side" - ISKCON, Ritvik, Gaudiya Vaisnava, "pro-poison opinion", "no poison opinion" etc. - we have both nonenvious and envious devotees, those with proper and IMproper motivations. Ultimately, we ALL have to CLEAN UP our motivations and methods if and when they are not right. Due to the confusion CREATED BY THE GBC "leaders" in 1997 who did NOT give us all of the information that Srila Prabhupada provided, there are now many "sides". The devotees themselves can not be put to blame for choosing this or that philosophy if and when they feel it is right, even when it may be wrong. If the GBC had been honest, and had directed devotees properly, then there would be no major problems as there are today. So many sincere devotees feel "lost" in so many ways with regard to accepting siksa from the right source. Because of such a loss of faith in the GBC DUE ONLY TO THE GBC'S DISHONESTY, LIES, and CHEATING, there is such confusion, including who to turn to and TRUST for proper siksa. Despite the different "sides" and philosophies, we have to put away that envy and hatred which we are bringing into the picture. Best of course would be if our GBC Godbrothers of 1977, (if they have not become too contaminated to remember the truth), would come forward to tell ALL of us the truth about what indeed Srila Prabhupada DID say with regard to so many things in those last few months and days. With regard to ANY of these major, (and even minor), issues, one should NOT allow personal motivation to enter. A devotee's LIFE and SOUL is to fulfil the desire of his Guru Maharaj, and thus, the desires of Krsna. This should also be the presidence here. There should be NO other concern, than to try to bring forth the truth of the matter of the possibility of Srila Prabhupada's being poisoned, with NO OTHER motive, other than to find out that truth. There is only one way to Krsna, and that is to carry out the bonafide instruction of the bonafide guru. It is only by pleasing the bonafide spiritual master that Krsna is pleased. yasya prasadad bhagavat prasado yasya prasadana gatih kuto pi... yasya deve para bhaktir yatha deve tatha gurau tasyaite katita hyartha prakasante mahatmanah For one's own material concerns; name, fame, money and the rest, one may CHEAT himself of the REAL concern, development of pure love for Sri Sri Radha and Krsna. Submitted for the Vaisnavas concerned. I remain your servant, Mahavegavati Dasi Hare Krsna  About the Author  Other Stories by this AuthorRelated VNN Stories Comment on this storyContact VNN about this storySend this story to a friend
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