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EDITORIAL July 30, 1999 VNN4402 Related VNN Stories Srila Gurudev And My Srila Gurudev BY MAHAVEGAVATI DASI EDITORIAL, Jul 30 (VNN) — Dear repected Vaisnavas, Hare Krsna. All glories to our beloved Rupanugacarya, His Divine Grace, Srila Prabhupada. Despite our differences of opinions, I think at least we can ALL, (hopefully), agree on one thing: That we all have love for Srila Prabhupada, and we all recognize his position as a pure unalloyed loving servant of Srila Rupa Goswami, and Sri Sri Radha-Krsna, and that he is Their empowered PURE devotee, possessive of the highest level of Krsna prema. I personally do not wish to get involved any more in any of the ITS GON problems. If my guru and GBC Godsiblings do not wish to address those negative things which are disturbing the purity of Srila Prabhupada's intended ISKCON, then there is no point in someone as insignificant as me, in trying to give any assistance. Trying to lance boils - which may be messy for both the possesser of the boil, and the person trying to expel the boil - can be some very uncomfortable business. (Of course, for the sake of Krsna consciousness, we may take on the austerity of accepting certain discomforts, to try to uphold the desires of Guru and Krsna, and for the sake of THEIR pleasure.) At this point, I would much prefer to concentrate on the nectar, although there are so many boils which need to be lanced, because I think that THAT is what my spiritual master, His Divine Grace Srila A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, would want of me at this point in my life. With regard to the boils and bursting them, (which is a painful business), Krsna Himself explains that that which appears to be poison in the beginning is like nectar in the end. Thus, when a boil is lanced, despite the so much pain involved, the patient, after the initial pain, becoming cleared of the boil, feels relieved, and the doctor, knowing that he has done some good, both feel good. For the pleasure of the Vaisnavas, I would like to present the following story which is reprinted below. My reasons in doing so are as follows: For so many years while I was in the movement, I was not really aware of any of the ISKCON "politics". I was fully engaged in my prescribed services, and due to the temple I was in, the services I was engaged in, and the GBC I served under, I just never got to hear much of anything. I did hear once in a rare while some trickles here and there, that Srila Prabhupada did not want us to go anywhere near his Godbrothers. Especially after Srila Prabhupada left the planet - I was under Kirtanananda prabhu's GBC jurisdiction at the time - I heard some very heavy statements against two persons; Srila Sridhar Maharaj, being the first, and Srila Narayan Maharaj, being the second. I had never been to India, nor had I really ever been anywhere, except for where my service was, and I never heard anything other than what my ISKCON authorities told me. Thus, simple as I was at that time, I simply accepted what I heard from my authorities, especially because I did NOT want to offend my Guru Maharaj. For all these years, I "grew up" thinking that Srila Sridhar Maharaj, and Srila Narayan Maharaj were "anathema", although I myself never did say anything blasphemous about them. I just "KNEW" that, for me, Srila Prabhupada's disciple, I was to "stay away" from "such persons". In 1997, I finally, made it to Vrndavan. (I was at that time, living and working in Buffalo, NY - after BTS left me illegally in Nigeria, and I was finally able to make it out. I ended up "stuck" in Buffalo, and, despite my efforts to get into a temple, due to my being physically crippled, and having my character assassinated, I could not get access into any temple to whose president I had contacted. I did go to Toronto for several weeks, but my body just could not keep up with the physical load of service I was given.) It was there, at Krsna-Balaram Mandir that for seven days, during SB class, or afterwards, during the question-answer period, I heard Narayan Maharaha's name being brought up over and over again, as well as "the 'prostitute' devotees" who were "'going over' to him". (I had been in Africa for so long, and then in Buffalo, and I did not know ANYTHING at all, about what was going on in ISKCON. Thus, I asked a question to get things clarified for me as to what the issue(s) was, and I was "condemned" for asking my question.) I later met one mataji, a Prabhupada disciple. (I would mention her name here, but I do not want to get her into any difficulty. ) It was she, who first "introduced" me to the "other" Srila Narayan Maharaj. Needless to say, as a staunch, (trying to be), disciple of my Guru Maharaj, I did NOT want to make ANY offenses to him, and thus, was not going to simply accept Srila Narayan Maharaj, JUST because this mataji was telling me that he was "so wonderful". As the old saying goes, "Proceed with caution", and I have to admit, I did not want to just "buy into it". Even this mataji did not say too much to me about Srila Narayan Maharaj. I believe she was being cautious, thinking that if she did, there was the possibility that I could make offenses. I went back to USA, thinking a little about what that mataji had told me, (but hadn't convinced me), and about my own individual circumstance - being made a victim of a GBC leader's dishonesty, and his subsequent lying to devotees and discrediting my character. Could it be that that could also be going on with Srila Narayan Maharaj? After all, Srila Narayan Maharaj was THE person to put my Guru Maharaj into samadhi. (I had heard that SOMEWHERE along the grapevine.) I met Jadurani prabhu in 1995 in Columbus when I went to visit the temple there. She also spoke to me a little bit about Srila Narayan Maharaj, but I just became very confused by what was being said, and I just put it all out of my head. I simply HELD ON TIGHTLY to Srila Prabhupada's Lotus Feet, (as I had done for so many years), and felt that HE - because I was that faithful to him - would, from within, give me everything that I needed to make further advancement in Krsna consciousness. Since one closed head injury in 1978, and several physical attacks sustained while in Africa, one, a very intense attack in 1984 resulting in subsequent extensive damage to the brain, I was left TOTALLY UNABLE to comprehend ANY written material. This has remained UNchanged, for YEARS. It is only VERY, VERY recently, (since March 1999), after much work with myself, that I have finally been able to read a paragraph here and there, (and even that, with MUCH effort), and comprehend something. Somehow, with practically EVERY paragraph I RANDOMLY chose, Srila Prabhupada seemed to be purporting, and the scriptures THEMSELVES seemed to be telling, that one HAD to go a pure devotee, to understand Krsna, the scriptures, and ultimately EVERYTHING in regard to Krsna consciousness. It started to "bother" me. Practically everything that I was seeing in those paragraphs that Krsna was directing me to - for again, it was very random; I would just open ANY book, ANYWHERE that it opened to - I was being told the SAME message. The DILEMNA: To go or not to go; WHO was this "man", (Srila Narayan Maharaj)? Was he the "big 'bad' man" that I kept hearing about in ISKCON, or was he someone else? I CERTAINLY did NOT want to go against any of Srila Prabhupada's instructions or wishes. What should I do? Do I take the risk - that I might just possibly be breaking Srila Prabhupada's instuctions - and just go and "check" this person out? Or do I just keep going on in my own way as I had done for years: following my Guru Maharaja's instuctions to the best of my ability, and hoping and praying. (I kept feeling that there had to be the "siksa guru", who was spoken about in CC Adi 1. 35. I felt that I had to find that siksa. I TRIED FOR YEARS, asking my questions to a number of my "advanced" Godbrothers - those who were stamped as advanced, who were around for so many years, and had been placed into prominent positions, both while Srila Prabhupada was on, and off the planet. They were gurus, and they were well versed in the scriptures. And thus, from time to time, I would write a letter, and ask a question here and there. BUT I NEVER GOT ANY FULFILING ANSWERS TO ANY OF MY QUESTIONS. I KNEW that there had to be someone "out there" who I could feel to be my siksa guru, someone who KNEW ALL the answers, but I was just NOT finding anyone, except for Srila Prabhupada. (But I could not read his books. I had only INTERNAL faith. And believe me, THAT kept me going; it was ONLY SRILA PRABHUPADA'S CAUSELESS MERCY and THAT; BAS!) I did get to hear a tape from Gour Govinda Maharaj, and I KNEW, "here was the pure devotee I was looking for". I wrote to him, and I wanted to go to his Lotus Feet and surrender to him. I even received a letter back from him. It was dated exactly one week before my pure devotee Godbrother left the planet, and I cried, and cried, TOTALLY DEVESTATED that I had lost the treasure I had JUST found. Finally, in 1999, after living in Columbus, and hearing some blasphemy of Srila Narayan Maharaj on various occasions, KNOWING my OWN situation - where devotees had passed around so many unfounded things, even downright LIES about me - I decided, "I am going to go to hear Srila Narayan Maharaj myself, and make my OWN judgements. " And, thus, with Puru - who, incidently, I have known since the late 70s from the West 55th street temple - prabhu's mercy, I got a ride with him, and went to see Srila Narayan Maharaj. I would like to submit the following which was spoken by Srila Gurudev Himself during a class he gave in Mathura in 1993. (I was not there). The following excerpt is taken from, "My Siksa Guru and Priya Bandhu". OBVIOUSLY, DESPITE THE NEGATIVE WORDS OF NUMEROUS ISKCON LEADERS - INCLUDING SO MANY OF THEM WHO WENT TO TAKE SHELTER AND INSTRUCTION FROM SRILA NARAYAN MAHARAJ, (who his disciples, diksa, as well as some siksa disciples, affectionately call him "Srila Gurudev") - SRILA PRABHUPADA AND SRILA GURUDEV HAD A VERY INTIMATE AND LOVING RELATIONSHIP, BOTH OF THEM BEING PURE DEVOTEES. This can be VERY OBVIOUSLY seen through the following exchange between these two eternal associates and servants of Srila Rupa Goswami. Srila Gurudev, from the following words, explains how SRILA PRABHUPADA ASKED HIM to "help his" - Srila Prabhupada's - "disciples". (I have NO reason, after meeting the REAL Srila Narayan Maharaj, to DISBELIEVE his words. I beg the assembled Vaisnavas to READ this excerpt with OPEN hearts and mind. Meeting this great Vaisnava, may fill the gap within your heart. Hare Krsna. Your servant, Mahavegavati Dasi, (and yes, it is REALLY me who is submitting this). The following is from Srila Narayan Maharaj: Visiting Him In His Last Days Srila Swami Maharaj* was becoming very ill. Our Sukananda Prabhu was offering him naturopathic massages with Gangajala. these helped him, before he last went abroad to England. Sukananda Prabhu came to Vrindavana for two hours every morning and eveening for fourtenn days to massage him. We aslso sometimes visited and spoke with Swamiji then. Once we came at a time when he had hardly eaten or even taken water for many days. Yet still he affectionately greeted us and, as he had always done with all, he lovingly offered us opulent maha-prasadam which had been prepared and offered by his disciples. He exclaimed how nicely his young students were trying to serve their gurudev and Krsna. Even though he himself had taken nothing at all for so long, in such a carefula andaffectionate way, he watched as each of us took prasada to our full satisfaction. Some Godbrothers and associates were paying visits to his room. Around this time, Akincana Krsnadas Babaji Maharaj, Srila Bon Maharaj, Srila Bhakti Promode Puru Maharaj, Srila B. V. Puri Maharaj, Indupati Prabhu (from Srila Madhava Maharaja's temple), Anand Prabhu, and many more devotees also came to see him. We also came several times to be with him along with our brahmacaris - Sesasayi Prabhu, Subhananda Prabhu, Premananda Prabhu, and sometimes others. There are tape recordings of some of these different conversations, but most were in Bengali or Himdi. Just before Kartike month in early October when our annual Vraja Mahdal parikrama was about to begin, Srila Swami Maharaj sent for me. He requested his senior sannyasis and many others, "I want to meet with Narayana Maharaj. " They came by car and requested me, "Srila Prabhupada wants you, so please come now. " We were just giving enening discourse for our parikrama party, but I came immediately. When I arrived in his room at Krsna-Balaram Mandira, he was quite silent. Some boys were singing the Hare Krsna maha-mantra and some sannyasis and other disciples were silent. After some time he opened his eyes and indicated with his eyes for me to come close. He was so enthusiastic before his death - not his death, no, his entering into Krsna-lila. He was not speaking, but when he saw me he was happy. The devotees were chanting Hare Krsna softly in Swamaiji's special tune. All could see that he was not speaking anything now. I did pranams to him, santya pranams, (standing and silent), because I saw that tere wer som many perrsons there and no space for me to do full pranams. Then he saw me and at once said, "Oh, Narayan Maharaj has come. " He wanted me to take a seat on his bed. He tried to sit up but I put my hands on him and siad, "Please lie down and I wil sit over here. " He then motioned for me to come neared to his bed and said, "I want to speak to you. " He wanted me to sit closer to his ear so he told some disciples, "Bring a chair" and I sat on it near to his ear. First he began to weep. His heart was melted. From the coro of his heart he told me "Narayan Maharaj, can you excuse me? I feel that there is cause. Fro the sake of preaching I have told my disciples some things which perhaps I should not have said. Also I spoke so strongly about my Godbrothers in one letter which was then revealed to everyone. I said that we are preaching and others are not, that they are kanistha-adhikaris who don't preach but are idle. I said that all the Gaudiya Vaisnavas did not help me and the only take mahaprasadam and sleep. " Swamiji had once written one letter to me saying, "I am preaching all over the world, but they are not doing this nor are they cooperating with me. " At this time many of his sannyasi disciples werre watching. His words and mood implied to me many things about how he had wanted to encourage his young students. As we are careful with babies, so he instructed them not to mix with his Godbrothers and the other Gaudiya Vaisnavas. To save his newcomers from becoming disturbed or confused, he sometimes told them not to visit anywhere else because a few of his Godbrothers had done some wrong things. His disciples were simple-hearted and stright-forward and did not understand the Indian indirect subtle meanings. They did not know all these things yet and needed to progress gradually and be trained carefully in bhakti rules. He did not want them to lose heart due to criticism from any Indian Vaisnavas who may not understand their nature and his style of training them. (My own comments: Just SEE how much Srila Prabhupada loved us and wanted to protect us, that he took such risk in doing as he did even at the expense of his relationship with his Godbrothers. And see also how Srila Narayan Maharaj could also understand Srila Prabhupada's mood and desires. WHO in their RIGHT intelligence can criticize such a Vaisnava of this character and caliber?) Swamiji had been a member of the Gaudiya Matha for a very long time and he knew the regulations and siddhanta - but he could not teach all of his disciiples everything in just a few years. He had been cultivating many Vaisnava videshis (Westerners) from different countries but they still lacked our Vedic culture and sadacara (devotional habits). He had given such instructions to avoid other Vaisnavas just to protect his young disciples. Swamiji said, "Although they are not fully trained, their devotional attitude is very nice. I am praying to my Guru Maharaj and the Rupanuga Guruvarga to bless them all. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Sri Nityananda Prabhu, and Sri Baladev Prabhu will surely give them Their mercy. " Swamiji was remembering all these things. He requested me, "Kindly tell the other Vaisnavas that I have made this offense and to please excuse me. I have so much sorrow for this. " I think he felt that if any devotees were chanting the pure Name and were absorbed in hearing and preaching hari-katha like Srila Rupa Goswami, they could be considered even more qualified than those who were preaching, but without pure devotion. I told him, "You are my siksa-guru and a purd Vaisnava. I know that you cannot do anything that is not in the way of bhakti. You have done these things only for serving your Gurudev and Caitanya Mahaprabhu. We also do like this. Alll of us are indebted to you; there is no question. We know the prediction: pfithi viti ache yata nagaradi-grama... You have done a miracle; you havespread His glories everywhere. We don't think that you have done anything wrong so I have nothing to excuse you for. But I will tell your request to the senior Vaisnavas and there can be peace. You are my siksa-guru; whatever instructions you give me I will follow with absolute sincerity. " Tears were falling form his eyes very sweetly. He was acting in such a humble way, as if he was not a good Vaisnava, but actually he was like Narottama das Thakur and Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur. Swamiji continued, "Srila Bhaktididdhanta Sarasvati Prabhupada ordered all of us to preach in Europe and America. That was his strong desire. His other desire was that we all work together to preach. I didn;t waste a single moment. I tried my best, and to some extent it has been successful. " His voice was choked with emotion. "If we can work conjointly then, as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu declare, this sankirtana movent has great possibilities. " Then he told me, "I WANT YOU TO HELP TAKE CARE OF MY DISCIPLES" (All of these are my capitals. ) "I WANT THEM TO BE GOOD AND QUALIFIED DEVOTEES. IF THEY COME TO YOU, PLEASE CARE FOR THEM. " Many of Swamijis disciples were nearby so he softly whispered in Bangali, "When I went to the West, I caught so many monkeys in my net. Really, they are very expert in quarrelling amongst themselves like that. They are still very young and untrained. So I request you that after my departure you will help them in every respect. " Considering the implications of this order from my siksa-guru, I hesitaed. Then he grasped both of my hands in his own, looked deeply into my eyes and asked me to promise to help. Therefore I agree, saying, "I promise that according to my ability and my bhaktisiddhanta-tattva, (understanding of the conclusive statements of bhakti), I will always be ready to help them as you request. END OF REPRINTED TEXT Srila Narayan Maharaj then requested Srila Prabhupada's permission to say something to the devotees gathered there at Srila Prabhupada's bedside, and Srila Prabhupada granted permission. Srila Narayan Maharaj explained to the devotees, "Don't think that Swamiji is leaving from this world, leaving his body. Gurudev is eternal, " and he went on to glorify Srila Prabhupada, and to encourage the devotees to continue on in the mood of service and cooperation that Srila Prabhupada wanted. Srila Prabhupada then requested Srila Narayan Maharaj, "I pray to you that you will put me into my samadhi with your own hand. I don't want to take samadhi from anyone else's hands. I think you are the proper person. After my samadhi, arrange to celebrate my mahotsava separation festival. You should give some amount of money to all the seven temples in Vrndavan and to all the Gaudiya Mathas. It depends upon you, 201 rps, 1001 rps, according to your discretion, whatever you recommend. They should all hear these instructions and arrange to pay. Do a mahotsava festival also in Mathura and invite all of the senior Vaisnavas to the feast. Invite all the Vaisnavas in Vrndavan. Do like this for me. And AGAIN I AM TELLING YOU THAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS HELP MY DEVOTEES. " (My capitals added. ) * Srila Narayan Maharaj usually calls Srila Prabhupada by the affectionate, and respectful name, "Srila Swami Maharaj" One other note, It was Srila Narayan Maharaj who, when asked by our ISKCON leaders, took out SO MUCH of his time to go to the Bombay courts, DAY AFTER DAY, to PROVE Srila Prabhupada's taking of sanyas, when there was a possibility of ISKCON's property in India of being at risk of loss to Srila Prabhupada's family members. Again, I am so little knowledgable of these things. I can only say this little bit. Maybe one devotee who knows the details of this matter, (Tamal Krsna, Gopal Krsna Maharaj and/or others?) can tell that story for the pleasure of the Vaisnavas. This has been submitted in glorification and service to my Srila Gurudev. dasadasanu dasi Mahavegavati dasi Related VNN Stories  Comment on this storyContact VNN about this storySend this story to a friend
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