© 1999 VNN

EDITORIAL

May 24, 1999   VNN3941  Comment on this story

Letter to ISKCON Justice Minister

BY MAHAVEGAVATI DASI

EDITORIAL, May 24 (VNN) — Dear Sesa prabhu,

(see also VNN story 3875, 3891) I have sent this email to you several times, but you still have NOT responded to it. Therefore I am sending it to you AGAIN as well as my sending in a copy to VNN, which at one point you yourself said I should write to them about my experiences with BTS.

Dear assembled Vaisnavas,

Hare Krsna. All Glories to His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada and to all of our Vaisnava acaryas. Please accept my fallen obeisances. I am submitting the following email which I submitted to Sesa prabhu as the Minister of Justice, his reply to me, and my reply to him to which I got no response after sending the email several times. I have recently left Columbus ISKCON, and ISKCON in general, seeing the existing situation within the movement.

I must add myself to the list of devotees who have been forced out of our Father's house. Sadly, many of us have suffered this fate because of our unwillingness to compromise our sense of bonafide Krsna consciousness according to the tenets of Guru, Sadhu and Sastra, and our desire to serve the order of Srila Prabhupada and the bonafide vaisnavas who carry out that order. Today the house that our father set up, is VERY different from that which he intended. I had no realization of what was going on, (the widespread disease throughout the movement), since I was in Africa for so many years without association. It is sad when one is forced to leave one's father's house, especially when that house was built on spiritual truth, but Vidura also had to leave the palace of Duryodhana which originally was his home, but his leaving brought bigger and better things - spiritually of course. Ultimately, Krsna has some grand plan in mind.

I am submitting the following only because I feel it is necessary to bring forth these things. Srila Prabhupada purports in BG 10.4, that satyam means truthfulness, that the truth must be spoken for the benefit of others even if unpalatable. If a thief is called a thief, then that is truthful.

I was residing in Columbus ISKCON and have since left. While there, I was chastized severely for submitting two articles to VNN in mid April, in which I simply spoke the truth. Malati was also regularly chastizing me for speaking to some devotees about the situation I encountered when I served under Bhaktitirtha Swami for ten years and situation created after he had some difficulty in his sanyas.

In Oct 97, Malati approached me saying that she "had heard some 'rumors'" about my situation with BTS, and asked me to tell her what happened. I told her that I did not want to discuss the issue, (as it was obvious to me that she would not be a person who would want to hear about what I had encounterd while serving under BTS). She repeatedly asked me to tell her, so I told her just a little bit, enough to barely touch the tip of the iceberg.

(To make it phenominally short, BTS over the years took $10,700 from my Deities and me; this is NOT counting the laksmi I voluntarily gave for the ISKCON Africa mission. He left me illegally in Kenya in 1985 to 1986, (after having taken ALL of my laksmi and my passport). I had to hide out in the woods and later the Muslim slums to protect myself, as the immigration authorities would have taken me to jail where it was sure I would have been raped. (I fasted for over two months thinking that maybe the austerity would force someone "up there" to do something. BTS later came, and although he never told me the details, he said my fasting had given him a reaction and had forced him to come to get me out of the situation. I forgave BTS for all of this as well as for so many other things that he did, and I foolishly continued in my service under his instruction. (I did this because it was so much indoctrinated into me that a devotee should always surrender to his ISKCON authority, no matter what, that this was what was pleasing to Srila Prabhupada. (It is only now that I am finally BEGINNING to wake up.)

In 1990, BTS left me illegally in Nigeria, and I had to bribe my way out of the country to get out safely. When I returned to the USA, I was forced out of ISKCON due to BTS's dishonesty and lies about me, ALL due to his own unwillingness to face his discrepencies in 1)his sanyas vows, to which I was a witness while I was in Africa, and 2) his own personal dishonest dealings with me with regard to his politics in management, his taking exactly $10,697 from me without my consent. (This is not including the laksmi I willingly put out for the ISKCON Africa mission - ie. my airfares for service to and from Africa as well as airfares for BT Swami and Umapati Swami, and my paying for books for the Africa ISKCON mission). I was also physically crippled due to following some exploitive instructions while in the movement. I served under BTS for ten years and was literally forced out on to the street in USA since I had no ties to anyone, having given up my friends and family to become a devotee.

When Malati insisted that I tell her, I spoke a little bit about what happened. Sure enough, (as I thought it would happen), Malati didn't accept anything. She called me a liar, and since that time, has been very inimical towards me, expressing these negative feelings in various ways.

The atmosphere was already unbearable, Malati regularly leveling false accusations at me, and getting Yamuna, her second in command, Yamuna to join in. Whenever they would level a false accusation, (So and so said that you said), I would tell them to bring the person - who was in a place where we could all be brought together - in the room and we should see who was really saying what, since I definitely had not said what I was being accused of. WITHOUT FAIL, Malati and Yamuna REFUSED to bring into the room those devotees whose names they quoted as my having "said". I kept asking them why they refused to do so, saying that "He said, she said is simply a waste of time. We can find out who said what much more easily if we are all present." Nonetheless, they ALWAYS refused to do this.

I later realized that method was being used to force me to leave because Malati could see that I wasn't her ideal follower and that made her feel most disturbed. I accepted the Bhagavat Purana, the CC and the BG with Srila Prabhupada's purports over the "Malati Purana" where often enough, her (MIS)conceptions and opinions conflicted with that of Srila Prabhupada's purports and the words of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Krsna das Kaviraj, and those of other great Vaisnavas or incarnations of the Lord, and I would counter her arguments with the scripture. As Padma Purana says, sruti smrti puranadi pancaratna vidhim vina... If devotional service does not follow the criteria given in the bonafide scriptures, then it is sentimental or fanatical and causes nothing but disturbance in society. I could not falsely accept the concoctions that I was being told I should accept, especially if it meant rejecting Srila Prabhupada's standard and that of the bonafide scriptures.

The final "blows", (or should I say, strokes of mercy), came when Jahnava, (previously Jotisthoma) - who took reinitiation from Srila Narayan Maharaj, and who lives in Columbus from Spring to Fall - told Malati and Yamuna, that I DARED to go outside of ISKCON and went to see Srila Narayan Maharaj. (I had already told Malati that I planned to go see Srila Narayan Maharaj and make my own judgements since I was so sick of hearing their non-ending blasphemy of him. (Funny, it was this blasphemy that finally got me to decide to go to see who this - according to them, "terrible", but I found - WONDERFUL Vaisnava was. I have to thank Yamuna and Malati; if it wasn't for their blasphemy of Srila Narayan Maharaj, I would never have gone to see this "nefarious personality" who I then found out was very wonderful indeed. THANK YOU YAMUNA AND MALATI.

These two were so incensed that dared to go to see His Holiness Srila Narayan Maharaj, that they did anything and everything to hasten my leaving Columbus, including their STEALING of my Govardhana Silas from the alter. YES, THEY STOLE - THAT'S RIGHT, STOLE - my Govardhana Silas; Giriraj and Sri Sri Radha-Raman, (also called Damodar).

I had already planned to leave, being sick of being so stifled and so much subjected to Malati's abuses, both verbal, and otherwise. I had even written Malati a letter in early April in which I told her that I would be leaving the latest by the end of May. (My rent was paid up until May.) Nonetheless, Malati in her anger that I, "AN ISKCON DEVOTEE" should DARE to go to hear from an "outside" Vaisnava, especially one such as srila Narayan Maharaj, THAT was TOO MUCH. Thus I submit the following to the assembled Vaisnavas. I would have submitted this earlier, but I did not have access to a computer. I will submit my original handwritten letter to Malati at a later time, (where I asked her to reply, and which she did not), as well as Malati's final letter submitted to me in which she makes many false statements. I am hoping that if it goes on VNN, (when I can get it typed out), that Her Grace Malati will be so kind as to reply to me, since she would not when I gave it to her personally.

Hare Krsna

(Letter)

Dear Sesa prabhu, Hare Krsna. AGTSP ...

Prabhu, you said that you would email me back but I have not heard anything from you.

I will be leaving Columbus when I can arrange a truck, a driver and a place to live.

Malati insists that I am lying with relation to that meeting, although when she asked me to move here - she was hoping that I would preach and make devotees for her temple - she said that she would see to it that BTS would reimburse me for the expenses I incurred in going up to buffalo to find a place to live, (before she talked me into moving here instead). She also at that time agreed that my moving to Colubus being "a temporary stopover", BTS should and would - she said that she would see to At any rate, you said you would email me as to the results of your contacting BTS after hearing from Lila Suka and Radha Dasi, substantiating that what I was telling you with regard to the meeting and the decision rendered was true.

As for my future, I am leaving ISKCON, and I hope to Krsna that I NEVER EVER see another ITS GON devotee again. Of course if someone comes to my place of residence, I will welcome them, even the liars and cheaters, because even an enemy is to be welcomed and treated with all love and respect when s/he comes to ones residence, but as far as my setting foot into an ITS GON temple, forget it. These are NOT my Guru Maharaja's temples anymore. I honestly do NOT feel that Srila Prabhupada would be pleased.

YS
MVVD
(end letter)



Original message from: "COM: Sesa (das) ACBSP (GBC)"
(Sesa.ACBSP@com.bbt.se)

[Text 2291701 from COM]

My dear Godsister:

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

If ITS GON, so am I. Tell me why I should take my time away from serving Srila Prabhupada's mission to repeatedly bang my head against the wall trying to help someone who makes such childish statements about ISKCON.

If YOU"RE GON then I will not interact with you in my ISKCON capacity. Rather I shall refer you to Srimad Bhagavatam 1.17.17-22 which describes how one should preceive injustices one suffers in this world. As you are out of ISKCON, this is the only advice I can offer.

your servant,

Sesa das
(end letter)



Dear Sesa Prabhu

Hare Krsna. AGTSP PAMFO I hope you are well.

When I say "ITS GON", I mean the real spirit of ISKCON has been annihilated. The real ISKCON I could NEVER leave. I will ALWAYS be Srila Prabhupada's "man" (so to speak). When I say "I hope I never see another ITS GON devotee again," I mean those persons who have deviated from Srila Prabhupada's REAL ISKCON, and who due their falsity and duplicitousness, cause such pain and confusion to the other sincere devotees who are GENUINELY trying to pursue Krsna consciousness as Srila Prabhupada taught us to. It is this to which I am referring. I think you are intelligent enough to know exactly what I meant by my statement. (Your answer sounded like that of a lawyer, trying to avoid the real issue of answering the question asked.)

I do appreciate your address, "My dear Godsister". To be honest, I always did appreciate what I perceived in you in the 70s. (I thought I saw in you humility and honesty, even though I never did really meet you. I just thought I was seeing these things in you back then.

Sorry you had to "repeatedly 'bang your head against the wall'" for me. I didn't realize you were that involved in this issue, other than your sending out the draft concerning how the meeting was to be conducted, and your later emailing BT Swami asking him to answer my statement that he had not reimbursed me for the laksmi I had to put out for moving, when I explained that that was what was decided at the meeting, and he denied it.

I know when I met you the two or three separate times at the Rathayatra festival in Toronto, the only thing you told me was that you talked to BTS and that it was not possible to arrange any meeting. Malati said that she had taken it upon herself to handle the issue and said she went to BT Swami and asked him to meet and that he agreed to it. She said that she had initiated it herself, that it had nothing to do with you other than your approving it; thus I credited her with having arranged the meeting in which she made it VERY obvious that she was completely innimical and did not really want to see things discussed, but was doing it only so that she could say that it got done. She had already condemned me in her mind, since 10/97, many months before the meeting of 7/10/98, repeatedly calling me "a liar", and "offensive" in that I would DARE to try to say that an ISKCON leader had done such things to me. (She always insisted that I was lying about what I explained I had encountered while serving under BTS. Funny thing is that I would never have told Malati anything, knowing her mood - she even condemns the Gurukulis who were molested for speaking up about what happened to them. As Malati has repeatedly, (and I think, hard-heartedly said), "It was their 'karma'; they 'DESERVED' it. They are 'WORSE than their purportrators'. If they were proper devotees, they wouldn't say anthing about it, knowing it was their karma." And she will go on and on about how the victims of these situations are "WORSE THAN THEIR PURPORTRATORS" because they have spoken up about what happened. Malati was the one, who after my several times explaining why I did not want to tell her what had happened - that I thought she would not want to hear the issue; that she wouldn't believe anything that I told her, and so on - INSISTED that I tell her, since she had "heard some rumors concerning Bhaktitirtha Swami and you", (the "you", meaning me).

If you also helped to arrange the meeting, then I give you that credit. Malati claimed full responsibility for having made the arrangement. I just believed what she told me, (that she arranged it and that you had nothing to do with it other than giving your approval) - After all, I was only asking you, for a few years, as the Minister of Justice, to make some arrangement that the situation should be addressed, "In the presence of ANY Deity Bhaktitirtha Swami chose" - that I would go anywhere he wanted to go before the Deity - and "that it be conducted in the presence of one or more senior 'non-partial' Vaisnavas", and you never arranged anything in all of those years. Thus, when Malati told me that she was fully responsible for arranging the meeting, I gave her full credit. The meeting Malati arranged was conducted by her with Radha Dasi, (a junior devotee), Jai Sri, TP of New Vrndavan, (who takes siksa from Bhaktitirtha Swami), and Lila Suka there.

When Malati told me that she would conduct it, I asked that she arrange for a neutral senior devotee to be in charge of it. Malati REFUSED and insisted that she would do it with Radha Dasi, and that Bhaktitirtha could bring someone on his behalf, (Jai Sri). I then said that if BTS could bring anyone he wanted, I should also be able to bring someone. Malati agreed to that. I asked a few devotees, but they expressed fear "of repercussion from the 'higher ups'" so they would not come on my behalf. I finally asked Lila Suka, who has known me over the period of years going back to the 70s. I chose her only because of Bhaktitirtha Maharaja's telling devotees that 1) I was "crazy" due to the head injuries I had sustained while in Africa, and 2) That I had "stolen laksmi from him", (both TOTALLY UNTRUE. Rather, I had given him so much laksmi towards the Africa programs, both in buying books for Africa, and paying my airfares to and from Africa several times, paying his airfares and paying Umapati Maharaja's airfare to Africa. I never took a single penny from BT Swami; rather the opposite. He took my Deities and my laksmi without my permission.) I asked Lila Suka to come since she knew I was 1) not "crazy" and 2) an honest devotee. She knew because of 1) her knowing me for so many years, and 2) I was rendering service at the Nandagram school in New Vrindavan of which she is in charge. I felt that if Bhaktitirtha Swami tried to say that I was "crazy" due to brain injuries sustained in Africa, (for which he never even sent me to a doctor despite his seeing that I was having obvious symptoms of brain damage - I couldn't talk properly), or that I had "stolen laksmi from him", Lila Suka would speak up in defense of my character as she knew it. (I think you are aware that at the last minute, although it had been agreed FOR MONTHS that the meeting would take place in New Vrndavan in the presence of Lord Nrsimhadev - as this is what Bhaktitirtha Swami chose - at the last minute, (literally), it was decided that the meeting should NOT take place before the Deity. (When I heard that they had changed this, I brought up my Silas, since I specifically wanted it to take place in the presence of the Lord in His Deity form as I figured we would make sure to speak honestly with the Lord there i a form that was visible to our consciousness.)

As far as my "childish" statements, Srila Prabhupada said that women are just like children, so on that basis, you may be very right. (I am putting up my original letter to you on VNN for the Vaishnavas to decide as to my "childish statements". Maybe you can submit it as it seems that I have lost a part of it. Then the Vaisnavas can judge my letter for themselves. (Of course, they do not know of the situation I have gone through under BTS, whereas you do. I told it all to you since you were the Minister of Justice, and you were the person to address issues like the one I presented to you, so I had to tell you at least some of the details.) I think though, that anyone understanding the pain I have experienced for so many years due to this situation, would understand my "childish" statements. (I think a lot of other people would have just gone plain nuts; I attribute it only to Srila Prabhupada's mercy that I haven't. Sadly, after getting out of Africa, where I was alone for so many years with no peer association, now that I am back, I see that this is a disease that is widespread throughout the movement; leaders lying about honest devotees, pressuring them through various means, to leave the movement, threatening devotees, and even doing worse things to devotees to get rid of them.)

I am just a person who can't stand lying, duplicity, dishonesty and the like; it just causes confusion. I forgave BT Swami for all of his atrocities committed over the ten years I served under him, (and the repercussions he later caused to me with his lies and assasination of my character), but when he went ahead to steal my Deities laksmi, (for the second time), and then left me in Nigeria illegally, hoping that I would get taken to jail and killed, simply because of his concern that I knew about the difficulty he experienced in his sanyas, and I ended up having to figure out how to get out of Nigeria safely, and landed up out on the street for a while in USA before I could find a place to stay, that was a bit heavy. I just couldn't relate to it. (See the statement about the master dragging his servant back by the hair in CC antya lila 4.46,47 that I mentioned in the copy of the report I sent to you. What to speak about a servant who has served his master faithfully for years, and the master kicks him out, (taking the servant's laksmi), because the master is afraid the servant may tell someone of his master's deviations. I NEVER left; rather, the master under who I served faithfully for ten years, KICKED me out because of HIS OWN FEAR of what he FELT he "had to hide". If only we could all just be a little bit more honest and STOP PRETENDING that we are on a higher platform than we are REALLY on.

Malati was at the meeting. She KNOWS what was said. I don't even care about the laksmi, but I do care about the integrity of the matter. I do care that Malati got me to come here and in the beginning told me that SHE would see to it that BTS should reimburse me for all of my moving expenses, the move out of NV, (with my intent to move back to Buffalo and the expenses I put out for that endeavor, going to Buffalo by Greyhound bus and putting down a deposit on a place to live.) Malati asked me to give up that plan, (of relocating to Buffalo) and instead come here for at least a year, and I agreed to it). Malati, when I asked her, told me that she would write to BTS, and tell him of my expenses put out, that she had asked me to come here instead, and that BTS should, pay these present expenses, and those of the future if I should choose to relocate out of Columbus. As she herself said, she would inform BTS that this was HER request that I come here for some time as a "temporary stopover" if in the future I should decide to go.

Malati had me give her the original receipts which she apparently destroyed. She later LIED, and said 1) that "There was never any such decision made at the meeting", and 2) that she "had paid my expenses 'as a courtesy to the Vaishnavas, BTS and MVV'" That was not true. She did NOT pay any of the laksmi that I put out towards my original intended move to Buffalo.

After a while, (especially since I had to suffer for so long with BTS's lies, where after 10 years of service to him, the risks taken in that service, (including my being physically attacked on numerous occasions), and then literally ending up on the street in USA as a cripple, with quite a number of my very good devotee friends rejecting me because they, being convinced by BTS's charisma and position, preferred to believe his lies over my truth.

I do understand the philosophy, but at the same time I also have feelings. Even our own Father, (Srila Prabhupada), after so many years felt some pain over what happened to his Guru Maharaja's mission. (Proof of that is that Srila Prabhupada wrote things in his CC purports concerning the issue, so many years later.) Don't you think that maybe all of this might have some negative effect on me, the fact that I am telling the truth, and am being disbelieved ONLY because my Godbrother has a position and people fall for charisma and position. Don't you think it bothers me the fact that I see that enough of our ISKCON leaders, including the ones I have tried to responsibly address my issue to, are not being honest? It DOES bother me. It bothered Srila Prabhupada when the devotees he placed into managerial positions, due to their own material desires, were not acting like proper Vaishnavas, and instead had their own agendas, thus causing pain to the "common" sincere devotees, with their duplicitious activities, and out and out lies. (Maybe our leaders should take a couple of psychology courses to understand how and why it is that people become affected by emotional pain. Maybe afterwards they will be able to understand why it is that we haven't jumped to that platform of not being able to be affected.

You told me to look at SB 1.17.17-22. Sadly, (as I think I told you at one point), when I sustained one very severe attack in Africa, I lost some of my processing faculties, including my ability to comprehend written material. (BTS could see that I wasn't even able to speak properly, and despite my already having contributed thousands of dollars to the Africa mission, BTS never even sent me to a doctor. (I guess he did not want to waste the laksmi. I couldn't go myself because BTS had taken ALL of my laksmi while in Zambia, (saying that he "would keep it safely for me" I think he meant, "keep it safely for him" as he refused to return it to me when I asked him for my laksmi).

How can I possibly call the present day "ISKCON" by that name when our leaders get rid of - either by lies, threats, character assassination, other pressure tactics or even by murder - devotees who are sincere in their practices of Krsna consciousness. This is not what Srila Prabhupada taught. Why are my GBC and/or guru Godbrothers kicking out their sincere Godsiblings from our Father's temples? Do you have a good answer? Srila Prabhupada set these temples up specifically for those devotees who wholeheartedly wanted to dedicate their lives to the practice and preaching of Krsna consciousness. Now we are being forced out ONLY because we are HONEST disciples of Srila Prabhupada, and our Godbrothers and and even Godsisters in leadership positions are kicking us out, threatening us with violence, (and even using violence), ONLY because we ARE honest and properly practicing disciples of His Divine Grace AC. Bhaktivedanta Swami Srila Prabhupada. Sesa prabhu, you are the "Minister of Justice." Doesn't this bother you? I'm sure you know what is going on; it is all SO BLATENT!!!

I showed Malati the scriptures: Srila Prabhupada's own words, Lord Caitanya's own words, (quoted by Srila Krsna das Kaviraj Goswami), and quotes from the SB. Malati REFUSED to accept the scriptures right there in black and white; instead she shouted them down. When we reject or refuse to hear and/or accept our three way balance system, BONAFIDE guru, sadhu and sastra, and instead accept a personality because of his position and/or charisma, then we have a cult. Srila Prabhupada did NOT create a cult - even though he himself refers to the "cult of Krsna consciousness", but we all know what Srila Prabhupada means, and he did not mean cult in the commonly understood form of the word.

At any rate, if you do not wish to let me know what happened, that is alright. Malati just stole herself, or had Yamuna steal my Govardhana Silas along with some of Their paraphernalia. Malati also issued me a letter with various false statements in it, including something about rent, which I have consistantly paid, as well as my making donations to the temple for Deity needs, feasts and other things. (What is "funny" is that Malati in her viscious attempts to intimidate me, has put some statements in the letter that would, if I chose to take the letter to the IRS, cause her some difficulty, as she indicated that she has been writing fraudulant receipts. (That is not a very good thing to admit to doing.)

It is obvious that Malati has all along not been dealing honestly with me with regard to the meeting, and is simply not interested in dealing truthfully with regard to another leader's dishonesty. In her dealings with me, she has made it VERY obvious that this is due to her own dishonesty. I tried all along to make myself believe that she was innocent. I tried to convince myself that due to the effect the drugs and aids had on her brain, she could not understand certain things or had simply just forgotten, but it is obvious that that is NOT the case. By dint of everything that has gone on, including her stealing of my small Govardhana Silas, her false accusations of me where she just points her fingers in my face and refuses to let me speak, and so much else - including her getting rid of the receipts she had me give to her, and her lying to you, saying that she paid my expenses, that there was no agreement in that meeting, etc., she has proved herself to be very dishonest, duplicitious and an out an out liar.

Sadly, she has implicated herself by dint of her dishonesty. When I get settled, if you wish, I can send a copy of her letter to me. (I will add my comments to poing out where what she is saying is not true. When I saw that letter, I was quite amazed with the false statements she put into the letter, but then again, on the other hand, I wasn't amazed since she has been showing her colors all along, and it has been for at least the past two months, I realized the position that Malati was taking was not due to innocence and a defective memory - although she does also have a problem with memory. She has made it VERY obvious that what she has been doing is VERY purposeful, and it is sheer DISHONESTY. (The agreements made in the meeting and her lying to you about them as well as so many other things.) I just didn't want to believe that Malati's subsequent verbalizations and actions were made out of dishonest motive, but sadly, she has PROVED me wrong in trying to see her in this light. It is obvious that she was being dishonest all along in her dealings with me. Sadly, she is following in the footsteps of the current vaisnava "acaryas" of our present day ISKCON.

I hope you are well.

I remain your servant,

Mahavegavati Dasi
Hare Krsna


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